You're Not Alone

By Amanda Vining, Regular ContributorNovember 14, 2015


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A few weeks ago, while browsing through my Facebook newsfeed, a post by fellow I Am That Girl badass, Kate Poppe, caught my eye. Kate had gone back through the archives of the IATG blog and posted to her Facebook page an article by Alyssa Hawkinson called Sad Pocket (It’s an amazing article and definitely worth a read!). The blog entry details moments of feeling down and alone despite being surrounded by incredible love and opportunities, which Alyssa affectionately calls “sad pockets.” Kate found the desire to share Alyssa’s work with her friends, because she felt like she was in a sad pocket. She remarked that she felt comforted reading Alyssa’s writing, because it articulated what she was feeling. For Kate, it was apparent that knowing she was not alone in her experience was uplifting.

As I read both Kate’s Facebook post and Alyssa’s blog entry, I too found comfort and healing in knowing that I am not alone. The past few months have been filled with chaos and change in my life, including three unexpected moves, the death of a friend, the hospitalization of a family member, the end of a romantic relationship, and my choice to resign from my job and move across the country to focus on my family and pursue my dream career.

Amidst all of this change, I found myself feeling lost and uncertain.

As someone who has always had structure and a firm plan, suddenly having everything uprooted made it difficult to remain positive. I found my bubbly, confident self slipping away and my internal conversation becoming negative. I still knew that I was going to be successful in my endeavors, that I am surrounded by innumerable people who love me, and that my life is filled with countless blessings for which to be grateful. But despite how many times I told myself that this new openness in my life is exciting and that great things are about to happen, the negative voice in my head drowned out the positive one and I felt myself becoming blue. No matter how hard I tried to shake my depressing mood, it just wouldn’t go away. Plus, the more I thought about my negative mood, the guiltier I felt for feeling that way so the more down I became.

But then came Kate’s post with Alyssa’s writing. Suddenly, I was able to describe the funk I had been in for the past few weeks. I was in a sad pocket. As soon as I was able to understand what I was feeling, I instantly felt a little bit better. I let go of the guilt of feeling down and accepted that I was in a sad pocket, and that as Alyssa described and as I know from experience, it would pass. Moreover, knowing that both Kate and Alyssa had experienced sad pockets made me feel like I wasn’t alone, nor my experience unique.

I Am That Girl founder, Alexis Jones, always says that the two most powerful words in the English language are “Me too.”

I agree with her. One of life’s greatest gifts is knowing that you are not alone in your experiences, emotions, or trials. Whether you’re struggling with an insecurity, a major life event, or a sad pocket, you’re not alone. We have all experienced those things at some point in our lives. Remembering that others have been through what you are going through is both humbling and healing. So, like Kate and Alyssa, don’t be afraid to talk about your experiences because you may just help someone else by saying, “Me too.”

Link to Alyssa’s blog:

Let's chat!

Have you ever been in a "sad pocket" and not known why? How did you overcome this? How do the words, "me too," help you?

About Amanda

AMANDA_VINING_writer_bio_(2).jpgAmanda lives in Austin, Texas, where she strives every day to be as BRAVE and BeautyFULL as she can be. She graduated from The University of Texas at Austin with a self-designed degree in Children’s Rights, and Duke University with a certificate in Nonprofit Management. In her spare time, Amanda can be found scouring Pinterest for her latest craft project, drinking coconut mochas in her favorite coffee shop, and advocating for sexual violence prevention on her blog, Talk About Rape (


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