At the turn of the new year, I developed quite an obsession with Words With Friends. Itâ��s basically Scrabble for your iPhone. It got to the point where I was running 10 games at once and I think it crashed my brand-new 4S twice, but I'm anxious to finally beat someone on it.
Something I'm also hoping to do is reconnect with friends; current ones as well as old. It’s important for me to have that network since now I'm committed to pursuing a more positive, hopeful outlook on life. Friendship is absolutely 100% one of the joys in life.
Last week, as I was getting ready for work, I got a message that someone had started a game with me. It was my friend Gavin. I haven't spoken to him since his wedding three years ago and even then we didn't really talk. I never understood where our relationship went, but like most people, I finger-pointed awhile before accepting that we may never speak again.
We were very close. Parties, camping and work â�� we were each otherâ��s wingman. I watched him cruise through girlfriend after girlfriend and he was a primary witness to my first instance of falling madly in love. But I was about to spin off into a frenzy that would last quite sometime and he was on a different journey. I knew it didn't really include me, although I don't know if I willed it or if it was intentional. He moved to LA toÂ pursue being a successful singer/songwriter. Itâ��s been 12 years, and a lot has changed. He's married with a baby helping his wife run her company.
Seeing his name come across that screen filled me with such joy. He was like a big brother. Years ago I said if we ever spoke again I'd stand my ground and say exactly how I feel. I'd let him know how hurt I was and not shut up until I had the final say along with an apology. But I couldn't do that now since we obviously needed that time apart. I remember sitting in a Rome cafe the day after his wedding, wondering if I'd ever see him again. I was OK with letting it go because more than anything, I wanted happiness for my friend and I saw it on his face the day he took his vows.
Fast forward to the game: I open my phone and see he's sent me a message. It’s a saying we use to crack on the other when we did something ridiculous. Relief. The very essence of letting bygones be bygones. The next week, I went to an old music venue where he'd perform countless times and the nostalgia hit hard. I wrote him essentially saying, “I miss my friend and that nothing matters more than our friendship and reconnecting.” He responded the next morning, so we talked about his son and when I'm coming to see him.
We lost three good years, though, and time before that not communicating our feelings. The upside is we now know how to move forward so it won't happen again.
If you miss someone who was in your life, this is the year for change and reining in that anger or grudge. Move on. Call them up to say you miss them. Even if you don't decide to head across the country to hold their newborn or grab a salad, I can tell you firsthand, your soul will be lighter for simply having some words with friends.Images courtesy of Media.tecca.com, Goitaly.about.com