As psychotherapists, Monica Berkett and Eden Ghatan regularly come across clients who want to be "that girl." That confident girl who respects herself, and above all else, is authentic. Letâ��s listen in as the duo discuss uncovering your inner voice.
Monica: So Eden, what do you think it means to have an inner voice?
Eden: I think it means being able to tap into your core and think for yourself.
Monica: I agree. I think itâ��s all about your inner truth, unrelated to what others may think or feel. Our inner voice can be really hard to tap into, and sometimes we can lose ourselves along the way. Letâ��s face it, a lot of us walk around pretty disconnected from ourselves.
Monica: We might also believe that one thing is our inner truth and when we search harder, we find that thereâ��s another layer of unprocessed feelings just bubbling below the surface.
Eden: I think of that surface as a mask. Itâ��s what we present to the world and weâ��re sometimes not even aware of what lies beneath. We are conditioned to hide our feelings, not realizing thereâ��s meaning behind every emotion. The reality is that discovering our true emotions helps us become healthier and happier.
Monica: Yes, that's true.
Eden: Underneath every mask is a person, with unique needs, desires, and a voice that’s longing to be heard.
Monica: And since there are many things that impact us from interpersonal relationships to significant life events or traumas, it can be hard to hear that inner voice.
Eden: Friends, family, and the media influence our thoughts and at times define us more than our inner truth, so the self gets lost. We unconsciously exist based on the demands of others. At this point, we feel lost, unfulfilled, unmotivated, and out of touch with ourselves.
Eden: So, let’s talk about how to find ourselves.
Monica: Honestly, it’s hard, but I think you get there when you explore and honor your true feelings, even the uncomfortable and ambiguous ones. When we are in touch with the deeper and more complex parts of ourselves, our friends, partners, and even the media cannot stop us from growing and moving forward.
Eden: Yeah, I think of feelings as our personal MapQuest. When we listen, those feelings guide us forward and help us find our way. The journey comes with hurdles, but it’s rewarding once you get in touch with the real you.
Monica: That’s why I like organizations like I AM THAT GIRL. It really promotes inner growth while also allowing women to find community support. Support is key, and I love the idea of women getting empowered together.
Eden: In support, we find connection, which is the healing element.
Monica: When you really think about it, the women’s movement brought about more choices regarding relationships, sex, careers, and more. There tends to be a lot of stigma and judgment from ourselves as well as society about these choices, so it’s especially crucial for women to have support in order to cope with these pressures.
Eden: What comes up a lot is feeling split between doing what feels socially acceptable versus what feels right.
Monica: And sometimes it’s difficult for women to sort out the difference.
Eden: It’s OK to feel confused and lost. People often come to therapy while facing such crossroads in life. What seems to be at the core of this experience is the life-altering question of identity.
Now it's your turn to join the conversation. How have you discovered your inner voice?
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Monica Berkett, M.A. is passionate about her work as a marriage and family therapy intern. Through her work with adults, children, and families, Monica has helped her clients work through a range of emotional issues from sexual and emotional abuse to relationships and depression. Monica is currently working in private practice in Beverly Hills under the supervision of Dr. Susan Spiegel. For more information about Monica and her work as a psychotherapist, please click here.
Eden Ghatan, M.A., LMFT is a licensed marriage and family therapist based in Beverly Hills. She is devoted to enhancing the quality of peopleâ��s lives and relationships through the practice of psychotherapy. Her clinical experience involves treating individuals, couples, and children with a range of intrapersonal and emotional issues, including depression, anxiety, anger, and family conflicts. Click here for more information.