When They Talk About Soulmates

By Jen Fine, Regular ContributorSeptember 17, 2015

As a young female growing up in the twenty-first century, it has become impossible not to succumb to the pressure of finding your “soulmate.” Even from a young age, girls are constantly watching television shows, music videos, and movies that highlight the fact that one specific person has been put on this earth for each and every one of us to meet and fall in love with. The truth is, however, as the years have gone on and I’ve matured, I find it harder and harder to believe in this phenomenon.

Quite frankly, I believe that the concept of soulmates has done more harm than good. We live in a society where everyone is so eager to find love from another person that they forget to love themselves first.

I’m not saying that people can’t be soulmates, but rather I’m saying that I find it almost impossible to accept the fact that one specific person is my perfect match.

At twenty years old, I think it’s safe to say that I have met some people that have made me wonder whether or not they could be my other half. That being said, I have become a firm believer that individuals are not made up of two halves but instead many different pieces that complete them. If we actually take the time to challenge the idea of soul mates, I believe more and more people will come to the realization that more than one person can be our perfect match.

In my life I would say that I have had many soulmates.

In my opinion, my mom could easily be defined as my soulmate; she understands me, she loves me, she connects with me, and, as crazy as it sounds, she even completes me. If there’s only one human being that we’re supposed to mesh perfectly with, settle down with, and live happily ever after with, then why does it seem that so many people have found their soulmate already? About half of my close friends are in very committed and serious relationships. If I asked my best friend right now, I’m almost positive she would tell me that her boyfriend of almost five years is, without a doubt, her soulmate.


image via innewview.com

I, however, rebuke this. While I do believe that they are perfect for each other and consider myself lucky to be able to witness their happiness and love, I find it hard not to question whether or not there is someone else out there that could also make her feel this way. Earth is a pretty immense place, spanning 24,902 miles where millions of individuals live and breathe. Who’s to say that an individual’s high school sweetheart is their soulmate when, in fact, they’ve only met a very miniscule portion of the world’s population?

Although it may seem crazy to say that a human being can only have met their soulmate once they’ve encountered every single person on the planet, it isn’t crazy to say that different people can be your soulmate at different times in your life. There may be multiple people throughout your existence that you connect with on such a high level that you believe each of them were meant to be by your side at one point in time. We have to stop forcing the idea of soulmates down each other’s throats and focus instead on being happy with the ones we’re given, no matter if they are our “one true love” or not.

Let's chat!

Do you believe you can have more than one soulmate? If so, who are yours? Tell us below!

About Jen

JENNIFER_FINE_writer_bio.jpgJen is currently a junior majoring in Human Development and Family Studies at the University of Wisconsin-Madison. She enjoys all things sarcastic, obsessing over the New York Rangers, and is a Dunkin Donuts iced coffee fanatic. When she’s not singing in the shower, writing her feelings, or dishing out life advice to her friends, you can catch her lying around watching One Tree Hill for the third time. Feel free to check out her personal blog at jenfine.wordpress.com for more!


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  • commented 2015-09-17 18:47:22 -0700
    Hi! I’m Annie, an old girl. :-) I’m 54. Really GREAT article, Jen!

    I was chatting with my future daughter in law about my BFF, Yuki, and she said, “Yuki is your soul mate!”. I replied that she is!

    Yuki lives in another state now, but we met in my state on the second day of 7th grade. I remember it as if it was yesterday…

    Yuki was from Japan and had a different first name then. I went simply by “Ann” then (boring!). Our last names were alphabetically so, that we were assigned seats next to one another in Mrs. Chism’s Math class. I had just moved from upstate New York to the Southwest. My parents had bought a new home, in a different city from where I attended 6th grade, and I didn’t know a soul. Yuki had just moved from Japan and didn’t know a soul either. We are both only children. In fact, Yuki is adopted. You can probably see why this day was so important to me.

    Yuki moved out of state at the end of 7th grade. I was devastated! There went my BFF, who I spent hours listening to album’s with (yup, that’s old!). Neither one of us were on top of writing letters, and we lost touch.

    Around 2003, I joined Classmates.com specifically to find her. About the same time, she did the same thing to find me. We did! We began emailing, then talking on the phone. The first glimpse I had of her was on TV, just like I knew I would. She’s worked with a lot of famous people, behind the scenes.

    Now, we talk daily, at least once, for a minimum of an hour. We both married around the same age (18 &19), had our son’s, then our daughter’s, within a year of one another. We got divorced, each had brief second marriage’s, divorced again. Now, we’re fun loving, single girl’s!

    We’ve experienced tragedy. But, we are resistant and happy! We live one state away from one another yet, still haven’t seen each other in person! But, we’re ALWAYS there for each other. Every single day… We carry each other’s history.

    So, you never know who your soul mate (soul mate’s, I believe) will be or when they’ll pop up, possibly leave, then pop up again, at the exact, perfect time.

    Be happy, whatever you do…
  • followed this page 2015-09-14 07:35:25 -0700

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