By: Danielle Spitz, Guest Blogger
It has been a year since my family and I moved into my current house. We did not move far, just to a location that was closer to my school and to my dad’s work. I made a ton of memories in my old house that I will never forget because I spent the majority of my childhood living there, but when it was time to move I did not find myself feeling terribly sad.
I don’t know if this makes me heartless, but I was too excited to be moving to be worried about leaving my old house behind. Everything was going to be easier. I would get to sleep an extra half an hour because the bus came later. I was going to live significantly closer to my friends’ houses. And it turns out that I love living in my current house just as much as my last one.
But the other night I started thinking about my old house, and I did not feel nostalgic or sentimental, I felt angry. I was angry that another family was now living in the house that my family had worked so hard to make beautiful. I was angry that this new family would be redecorating my old bedroom and giving it to their own daughter.
So why is it that I was so mad at these perfectly nice people instead of being happy for them? I discovered that I had been having the same feelings with my friends too. I think I was mad at this family because I was jealous. I was jealous that they got to start from scratch and make that house their own and fill it with all new and wonderful memories. Although I lived in that house for many years and loved it very much, I had to accept that it was not mine to keep.
The way this relates to my friends is being jealous when they make new friends and memories that don’t include me. People make new friends all the time, and I don’t know about you girls, but sometimes I find it difficult to watch my friends branch out. I get jealous because I think they will forget about our relationship and all of the memories that go along with it, and replace them with new ones made with new people. But in reality, that’s just my jealousy taking over and clouding my judgment.
People are always making new friends and that is something we should be excited for them about, and not condemn. Exactly like how I should (and now am) be happy for the family that moved into my old house, instead of being upset with them. Just because your close friend is making new friends does not mean they will forget the memories you have shared together. And if they are your true friend, there will be countless opportunities to create new memories together in the future.
Feelings of jealousy are normal, we've all been there! It's how you deal with them that counts.
- The quickest (though sometimes hardest) way to start dealing with jealousy is admit you're jealous! Go easy on yourself, admit your feelings (in a journal or to a trusted friend), and then give yourself some breathing room to delve deeper about why you're jealous. Before too long you'll be envy free!
Danielle Spitz is a fashion obsessed 14-year-old student. Her hobbies include reading, writing, running track, and of course, shopping!