By: Tia Michelle, Regular Contributor
I am a daddy’s girl. Always have been and always will be. We would go to the park, to the movies, to the arcade, and to one of my favorite spots, 7-11, for a slurpee. It was during these moments that my father would impart words of wisdom. Although I was 10 years old and had no idea what he meant, it was advice that would carry me throughout my life, even to this day. “Boys are like going to the doctor's office. There are some that will help you and take care of you and the rest just want to stick you and hurt you.” Now you can imagine my face as he said these words to me. What was he talking about? I don't like boys and definitely don't like getting stuck with a needle. I didn't get it. I just didn't get it.
Fast forward about 12 years; I was 22 years old and I finally got it. Out of nowhere my boyfriend broke up with me and broke my heart for the very first time. Here I was, crying all the time, sad all the time, and hurting all the time. It was at this moment that my father's words came rushing back to me. "Boys are like going to the doctor's office." It suddenly dawned on me what my father was trying to tell me that day over slurpees. Boys will definitely become a part of my life as I would grow into a young woman. There will be those men who wouldn't have my best interest at heart, who will be selfish and only think of themselves (thus the sticking and hurting). Like a shot at the doctor's office, in that moment it is truly painful and something that I would never want to experience again.
Unfortunately I did. Two weeks after my break up I was laid off from my first job as a college graduate due to budget cuts. That same heartache and sadness I felt when my boyfriend broke up with me was multiplied by ten. I truly loved my job and now I was being told that I couldn't continue to do what I love. For some odd reason, the same saying came back to me: "Boys are like going to the doctor's office.” I did not see how this saying applied to my life or my current situation. I lost a job, not another boyfriend. Granted I was still wounded from the break up, but add to that the fact that I no longer had a job. What did that have to with anything? As fast as lightning strikes the ground, it suddenly dawned on me the message my father was trying to teach me.
Like getting shots at the doctor's office, the pain is temporary. The same can be said for the pain of a break up, the loss of a job, etc. While I did feel the pain of my first break up and job loss it was only temporary. Yes it hurt, but this too would not last. I believe with all my heart that while the initial meaning was about boys and dating, there was a much deeper meaning to what my father was trying to say. I believe he also meant that in life, there will be upsets and disappointments. They will be painful and sometimes they will make you cry. The beauty however, in all of this is that not only is the pain is short lived, but you will be stronger because of it.
It took me 10 years to get this message and it is a message that I still apply to my life today. I am still faced with challenges and upsets, but I keep going, I keep pushing forward. I do so because of my father. No matter what you are going through, no matter how bad things may seem, it is only temporary. The next time you are faced with a disappointment, an upset, or if you are hurting because of someone, I want you to simply smile and say: “It’s like going to the doctor’s office. Know you will be okay. You are smart. You are strong. You are beautiful. YOU ARE THAT GIRL!
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Tia is a wife, a mother, a daughter, a sister and a friend to anyone in need. Tia has a penchant for writing. She loves movies and can find something new to laugh about every single she watches to Coming to America, despite seeing it a hundred times. Her motto: Vulnerability is the key to authenticity. Her goal is to help people discover the joy and beauty in midst of troubling times and trial through her life lessons, screw ups and the lessons she has learned from her 2 sons. Tia not only hopes to inspire others, but also to encourage them to do the same and inspire others along the way on their own journey. Her goals for 2015 is write a book sharing life lessons through handwritten letters to her 2 young sons, become a premiere author, and to one day give a TEDTalk. She loves sharing her passion for finding the beauty in hard times on her blog www.accidentaljoy.wordpress.com. She is truly humbled, honored, and grateful to IATG for allowing her a platform to fulfill her purpose in life. Tia tweets at @mstiamichelle.