The Toxic Relationship Cycle

So let’s pretend you’re standing in a hole, a deep hole. And then it starts storming. Pouring rain, raging thunder and all the other imagery that makes this scene seem scary, depressing and miserable. Water starts filling the hole and it’s rising up near your mouth. There’s a plethora of arms reaching into the hole telling you to grab on. You know you should grab on or else you’re going to drown in this muddy, sad hole. So that’s what you do, you reach up and get pulled to safety. You make the obvious decision, the decision that saves your life. Now pretend that hole is a toxic relationship.

A recurring theme among my female friends lately is the constant justification to remain in relationships that are clearly broken. No matter how much advice or guidance I offer, they still remain in volatile, unhealthy relationships. I simply do not understand the drive to continue because if a relationship is consistently inconsistent, arguments populate conversation and jealousy and distrust are at the forefront, that should be enough evidence to suggest breaking up and distance should be practiced. As hard as it might seem, this is the smart, right decision. Isn't it as clear as the hands reaching into the hole to pull you to safety? When one stays in these miserable relationships, it's like saying, No thanks; even though I'm freezing, about to drown and really sad, I'll stay in the hole. Silly, right?


What I can understand is this irrational behavior between the ages of 14 to 18. That age group gets a pass because it takes time to realize how much of a moron one has to be to stay in an awful relationship. But beyond that age bracket, come on. You should know positive and negative behavior.

A relationship should be a constant promoter of happiness. Of course, there will always be road bumps, but these destructive relationships I've been witnessing lately don't just hit standard road bumps. It's more like a road bump that sends the car into a violent, brutal car crash only to be swooped up by a tornado, tossed into a hurricane then spit out into a junkyard where somehow it manages to keep driving. If that's the case, then just leave the car in the junkyard.

Please for the sake of your sanity realize that if something feels bad, it's probably bad for both parties. So be mature by knowing when to call it quits and crawl out of that hole. No doubt it'll be hard, but you can rest easy knowing you've made a good decision. And after you crawl out of the storm hole, make sure you find a relationship that's all sunlight. Hopefully you'll be so happy that this will be the one time you won't even need to wear sunscreen.

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