The “Other” Girl

I once got the phone call every girl dreads. It started with an unfamiliar voice that matched an unfamiliar area code and then a tiny, shaky voice said, “Is this Alexis?” Obviously two strangers had just met that, in a perfect world, were never meant to. She began with apologies for calling and, “I know I shouldn’t, but I just don’t believe him and I think he’s lying.” Immediately I knew this girl because I’ve been her before.

We�ll call her Jane and him John for this blog�s sake. I had been hanging out with John, a new guy on the scene. It was nothing serious and, if anything, I told him he was just a good reminder that �men of his caliber existed in this world.� (It makes me sick even revisiting that compliment.) Needless to say, I received a phone call from Jane, inquiring about her �boyfriend."

Thankfully nothing happened with John and myself, but my heart was literally broken as Jane confessed her sob story of his lying and cheating past. I couldn�t help but sympathize as she said in a precious Southern accent, �I don�t know, I just feel like I�m going crazy because he�ll tell me one thing and for some reason, I just feel like he�s lying to me.� I assured her that her �gut� was correct and that despite the shady way in which she stole my number from his cell phone while he was showering, it somehow served us both well. She could walk away from a lying boyfriend and I could walk away from some new guy with a well-masked lying/cheating past. My initial reaction was of complete defeat that yet another �great guy� had proven to be another disappointment.

So my advice to all the Janes of the world is to walk away. I think we have all had our share of standing our ground despite the red flags we keep stuffing in our purses, pretending not to notice, but why? The most important point of this whole blog is not highlighting this particular scumbag or the other dating bandits caught red-handed, but the hope we have to maintain in spite of them. So Jane, this is for you sweetheart, since guys like John are a dime a dozen, have faith that there is a man out there of authentic integrity who will want you and you alone. Walk away with your chin up girl and be grateful you were spared this one.

As for you John; real men revere women, real men are honest and real men have integrity. Though you momentarily had me fooled, you are in fact just like every other selfish guy out there pretending to be different and pretending to be special. For the record, you’re not. What was personally the most offensive was your self-righteous stance of integrity and morality. How dare you preach from a pulpit of lies and deceit. Hopefully, you’ll grow up one of these days but this precious life lesson cost you two great girls.

Despite a few setbacks, my line remains in the water and even if I have to wait a lifetime, I know he’s out there and he’s out there for all you Janes of the world. Don’t you dare allow a few bad ones to prevent you from casting your line because the right one will come along and he’ll be worth the wait.Images courtesy of,

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