Taking On The S-Word

By: Abbey Lyn Clark, Regular Contributor

“Ew, look what she’s wearing. She’s such a slut.”

“You slut!”

“Do I look like a slut in this?”

“Slut.” “Slut.” “Slut.”

The more you say it, the uglier it sounds. Whether you’re talking about a stranger behind their back, saying it in an endearing tone to your best girlfriend, talking about yourself that way, or thinking about yourself that way, the S-word is never okay. All of these verbal declarations are actually part of a language, a nasty habit, and a culture, known as slut shaming.

If you embrace the title of feminist, you are an advocate of women’s rights. If you embrace the title of THAT GIRL, you are aiming to be the truest, most honest, and best version of yourself possible (whatever that means for you). If you use the word “slut” to describe yourself or others, you are doing yourself and other women a severe disservice.  While there have been several movements for women to “take back” the word slut--the b-word (“bitch”) included--and use them in a friendly, endearing manner, I strongly believe it should be expelled from our vernacular.

slut.jpg

Not only is the term derogatory, negative, and (most times) applied to women who sleep around, it has holds no purpose except to damage self worth, and make women second guess their other titles (such as a feminist and THAT GIRL). Moreover, if you talk about other women that way, you’re differentiating woman from woman, and only making the gap between all of us wider. The reason for ousting the word from your vocabulary is simple: if we’re supposed to be on the same team, we have to stop using a word that was originally invented as an insult.

To be clear, I’m not advocating for women to sleep around. Quite the opposite: I’m advocating for women to stop judging other women for a personal choice that has nothing to do with their belief in basic women’s rights or another woman’s idea of what makes them the best version of themselves. One way to end “slut shaming” for good: focus on what goes on in your own personal life and in your own bedroom. Are you safe? Are you secure? Are you happy? If you’re none of these things, it’s in your best interest to make an intentional lifestyle change.

In summary: wear what you want to wear, do what you want to do in good faith, and stop judging yourself and others. The reason being, YOU are in charge of the way you perceive, talk, and think about yourself and others, and that’s such a beautiful thing.

Let's Chat!

When was the last time you had an honest conversation about the "s-word?"

  • Circle your besties and make some time and respectful space to get real and dig into this topic/issue. What do you think about girls who use this word about themselves? Do we need to, as Abbey says, strike it from our language? Why are we quick to use this term as a way to judge others?

About Abbey

abbey.jpgAbbey recently graduated from Boston College where she received bachelors degrees in both English and Human Development. She is a certified yoga instructor, and a strong believer in the daily morning cup of coffee. She is obsessed with all things marketing and social, and has loved creative writing as long as she can remember. She loves shoes, vegan baking, traveling, and trying new things. She is an advocate of healthy living, real beauty, and is so proud to be part of such a beautiful organization that is changing the world for women and girls!

 

image via Rosea Lake

 

 

 

Showing 4 reactions

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  • commented 2014-09-20 16:59:10 -0700
    Anushe, thank you for reading and commenting! I’ve felt love few times in my young life, but I agree with you that it’s so, so much more than a physical connection you have with someone. Definitely don’t judge yourself- keep shining!

    Abbey
  • commented 2014-09-17 20:50:50 -0700
    Sleeping around is just humiliating the true feel of love! Love is not all about sex! I guess the ‘s’ or ‘b’ word is something that we all use to judge people! I guess the last time used it was on myself! Yet I wasn’t judging myself! It was in a fight in which the person went
  • commented 2014-09-16 19:39:28 -0700
    Hi Trista,

    Thanks for commenting! I couldn’t agree more with you about Ahimsa when it comes to personal choices (I’m a yoga instructor, and ahimsa is something I incorporate into my practice, and my daily life.) The best way women can go on their own personal journeys, as you very eloquently put it, is by eliminating judgement and focusing on their own choices. Love is at the root of it all: love for yourself, love for others.

    Again, thanks for reading- and share with your friends! YOU ROCK.

    Abbey
  • commented 2014-09-16 11:22:18 -0700
    Correct!!! I would NEVER suggest sleeping around and in my experience having sexual relations with a man is very intense & serious. If the situation goes south or bad it gets ugly for All parties involved. Controlling my Emotions & temper has not been easy. When you are a passionate women sex can be dangerous. However… I have not found this to be the same for many other women. It’s up to each of us to decide our moral compass. I even admire & live vicariously through my more sexually open friends. Growing up is a Journey & we support Eachother by….AHIMSA!! Non-judgement in anything we do:)

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