By: Jolie Brownell, IATG Contributor March 31, 2016
We’ve all seen that girl who has it all together--her life is perfect, her outfits and makeup on point, and everything seems to be going for her. When we see girls like this, we often become self-conscious and look back on our lives, wondering “Why isn’t my life as cool as hers?” Envious and jealous thoughts creep up in the back of our minds, such as, “Why can’t I have her life? I work just as hard,” or “why can’t I be as beautiful? I bet she has a rotten personality.” These thoughts turn into a secretive hate against her, as we explain to ourselves why she doesn’t deserve that grade, job, or relationship. Even worse, our jealousy may turn into the kind of gossip that draws other girls to tear this person down.
So why do we continue to do this? Why do we turn to jealousy instead of applause? Why are we so focused on being better than each other and tearing one another apart? Why do we compare each other instead of celebrating our uniqueness?
Somehow we’ve taught ourselves that in order for us to rise, we have to step on someone else. In order to win, some other girl has to lose. In order to be successful, we have to go against each other. But this is all a lie.
Another girl’s beauty does not take away an inch of your beauty. Another girl’s success does not make you a failure. Another girl’s wonderful life does not make your life worthless.
Plus, have you ever realized that she, like you, is an individual who is trying to live her life the best she can? She, like you, has had many failures and triumphs. She, like you, is someone who just wants to be loved, heard, and accepted. So realize now that the girl you glared at behind her back, that girl you gossiped about last week, that girl you secretly hated is a lot more similar to you than you think. You don’t have to hate her, because she has something you don’t. Be happy for her, because a win for one girl is a win for all girls. A success for any girl is supposed to be celebrated and not looked down upon.
So for that girl who got the job and that girl who got into her favorite college, celebrate her. Go up and give her a compliment for rocking her amazing self. Let her know that you are happy for her and that she’s amazing. Because admit it, she’s pretty dang awesome, every girl is!
Learning to celebrate others will help diminish all of your jealous thoughts. Yes, it will take some work on your part, but it will be worth it. I mean, can you imagine how much better our world would be if girls stop going against each other and started standing by each other instead? Can you imagine the impact of girls lifting each other up instead of tearing each other down? Something beautiful happens when girls unite and celebrate each other, so let’s all make it our goal to applause other girls’ accomplishments!
I’ll go first; whoever is reading this right now, I just want to let you know that you are more than enough, beautiful, and an awesome work in progress! Keep living your life to the complete fullest!
Let’s start to spread the love! Remind someone today why they’re INCREDIBLE! Give out a compliment in person, on social, in a note left on her locker or windshield, and support the amazing girls all around you!
Jolie is a passionate teenage I AM THAT GIRL Chapter leader in Beaverton, Oregon. Who, like many other girls, is sick of society making her feel inadequate and unheard, so has made it her goal to change the norms of this world and help create a new norm where girls are encouraged, heard, and accepted!
Every girl is a work in progress. If you need more help, click here.