Settling? Forget That

By Maxine Fournier, Guest Blogger

Moving into a new home or apartment often symbolizes a fresh start, a new chapter. For those of you who read my last article (if you haven’t already, you probably should because it’s awesome. Click here, wink wink), my ex-boyfriend and I were supposed to move in together to “our” new place. I was over the moon with excitement… until about a month before our move-in date—when he decided he couldn’t move in with me anymore.

Once the initial shock dissipated, I knew I had big decisions to make. I mean, after all, I had already given my notice to vacate my current apartment, and I wasn’t so sure I could find a reasonable place to live in such a short amount of time. On the other hand, whether or not I could afford this new palace on my own was still up in the air.

After talking it over with my parents and crunching some numbers (god, love them), I came to the conclusion that I would be able to afford my dream apartment on a single salary; however, I would have to make a few sacrifices here and there. Regardless, living on my own would require a few lifestyle adjustments, but I was determined to start living my “adult life” on my own.

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It’s safe to say I was beyond excited to get my keys and show off my new apartment to my sister and best friend. No matter how elegant they thought it was, the first thing that came out of my sister’s mouth hit me like a ton of bricks: “This is a really nice place but what the heck were you thinking, Max?” I stood still. Was she actually questioning my decision? “You could never have two people living in here. There’s not nearly enough storage space. Let’s be honest, you could never fit all your clothes, and his, in that closet…” and she went on to point out a few more “flaws”. 

She was right – what had I been thinking? Don’t get me wrong – I absolutely adore my new place, but, now, I can’t possibly imagine fitting all our stuff in it. After some careful considerations, I realized that its fresh coat of paint, quartz counter tops, stainless steel appliances, and in-suite laundry are some of the many perks that had drawn me in. I was totally infatuated with the idea of living in such a stylish and chic apartment. So much so, that I had completely overlooked some very important details, like storage space!

I was so enthralled with the idea of living in such beautiful quarters that I missed out on the more-or-less obvious imperfections. Fast-forward a few months. As I found myself laying on memory foam on my new apartment floor (because I was too excited to wait for my parents to help me move my bed), I realized I may have surrendered myself to something similar in my relationship at the time.

In retrospect, much like how I had been captivated by my apartment’s charm, I was smitten with the idea of being in love and disregarded some important signs in the process. There’s a lesson to be learned from all of our experiences (good, bad, and ugly), and I’ve been told that the term “crazy” can be defined by doing the same thing over and over again but expecting different results. If both of these statements are true, than I have no choice but to shift gears and start taking things slow. 

I’ve been finding it a bit tricky to settle with this proposition, partly because I refuse to settle (with anything), and honestly I’m a bit scared. All of these “what ifs” bouncing around in this head of mine are making it challenging for me to sit back and watch the world go by. It’s difficult to be patient when I see my friends moving in, getting engaged, and having kids.

At the end of the day, I need to remind myself to be thankful for where I am and what I have–amazing friends and family, a great job, and a sophisticated apartment. Let’s face it, I’m not settling for anything (much less anyone), because accepting myself and what I’ve achieved is nowhere near “settling.” In fact, it’s quite the opposite. I’m now well-aware of what I deserve, and I blatantly reject the notion of selling myself short to someone who’s committed to every priority in their life, with the exception of a little piece of paper some call a lease agreement. I mean—it’s just a silly contract, right? No big deal. 

Let's Chat! When was a time that you refused to settle? How do you remind yourself to be grateful for what you have? Share it with us here!

About Maxine

MAXINE_FOURNIER.jpgMaxine recently graduated with a B.A. in Communications and Business Administration. Her time in University taught her many things, but she’s eager to get her hands a bit dirty and test the waters of the “Real World”. As far as her everyday life goes, she enjoys reading and writing… a lot. More often than not, you can find her tucked away in her favorite coffee shop as she writes various pieces for her blog www.theluckoutlet.wordpress.com   

 

 

image via http://www.resi.com.au/

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  • commented 2015-04-24 22:00:50 -0700
    One of my friends once said to me " you could be in a relationship too if you lowered your standards!" That really hit me to the core because i had never thought about that side of me being single and she is right! My ex moved on within like 2 weeks which was a slap in the face since we were together for 7 years. It still bothers me that im still single, but then i remind myself that if i did settle then i would be MISERABLE! I will much rather be single than feeling stuck in a stale relationship!

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