Quit The Toxic Talk

By: Courtney Giardina, Regular Contributor

It’s 5:15. I have to leave by 5:20 in order to make it to the gym on time for class. I have my shoes on, my bag packed, and I’m all ready to go except: Where are my keys?

I ask myself that question way more often than I should. Sometimes I just have so much running through my mind that I put something down and less than a minute later I’m already forgetting where it is.

I’m running up and down the stairs, looking through drawers, moving papers, but no sign of my keys. That is when frustration sets in. I get upset with myself that I could be so dumb, so stupid to always lose things over and over again. I even have a key holder, but do you think my keys are ever on it?

Eventually I find them and by that time I’m frantically grabbing stuff and sprinting out the door. I’ve been doing this for a very long time now. If I make mistakes or lose things, I get frustrated and I start talking down to myself.

I told my brother about this recently. About how I talk to myself and do you know what he said to me? He told me I shouldn’t do that. He told me not to talk to myself like that. That yes, maybe I need to be more mindful and aware of things, but that putting myself down is not going to help the situation.

I thought about that while deciding about a piece to write for today and you know what, he is right. I would not surround myself with people who would talk down to me, use hurtful words or talk to me in that way. So why should it be any different when I talk to myself?

 We should be our biggest cheerleader. No one out there knows us better than we know ourselves. We have to love ourselves first in order to accept people in our lives worthy of loving us the way we deserve.


So stop, right now. Stop putting yourself down. The great thing about our voice is that we can choose how we use it. What we say, it is up to us. And I want you to get rid of the negative self- talk. Sure, I’m forgetful and maybe a little spastic, but do you know what else I am? I am kind. I am funny. I am strong and it is time that I start focusing on the positive aspects of who I am. If we don’t respect ourselves and lift ourselves up we can’t fully show the world the amazing person that we are and the beautiful things we are capable of.

Negative self-talk is easy to bring in to our lives. Stopping it is not. We have to work at it, but it can be done.

Let's Chat!

A lot of times we put ourselves down without even realizing it! The good news: quitting the toxic talk is easier than you think.

  • How many of you out there are guilty of negative self talk like I am? How does it make you feel when you talk to yourself that way?
  • What can you do to eliminate this kind of talk?
  • What would you say to a friend who puts herself down consistently?

About Courtney

cgiardina.jpgCourtney was born and raised in a suburb outside of Rochester, NY. She now calls Charlotte, NC home. Each day she lives by the motto that we create the life we imagine for ourselves. Her debut novel Tear Stained Beaches was released in 2013, her second novel is currently in editing and she has begun work on novel #3. Having a passion for cheerleading most of her life, it’s no surprise her spare time is spent currently as the head coach for a local middle school team and also as part of the Charlotte Hounds Major League Lacrosse dance team. She tweets under @sweetangeleyz and shares her latest adventures at The Girl Behind the Covers.



Image via woryabit.blogspot.com


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