Quality Alone Time

By Madeline Brady, Regular ContributorJuly 27, 2015

I recently moved back home for the first time since high school and things have been, well… crowded.

Between my family, my friends, and my significant other, I feel like I don’t have a moment for myself.

And as an introvert, someone who recharges by being alone, this has been particularly difficult. I find myself spending extra time in the bathroom or taking the long way home after running errands just so I can have some time with my thoughts. As I write this, I am sitting in my dining room in the dark so that no one will find me…

So, what do I do? Confine myself to hermitude and hope that makes me happy? Just let my inner-self wither as a result of never finding a peaceful moment? How do I balance social life and personal time?


image via lockerdome.com

During my first attempt to answer this question, I took the immature route. I cancelled plans and locked myself away in my room. I basked in my aloneness and felt threatened by anyone who wanted to take up my time. I prioritized myself in a selfish way instead of using my alone time for self-care and self-love. I wasted it watching bad TV and being completely unproductive (which is great in moderation, but I took it wayyyy too far…). It took me a while to figure out that my alone time should be cherished; I should use it to comfort myself from a world that can be so difficult and reignite my passion in order to make that world better. I am my most valuable resource, and I have to care for and nurture it.

Being alone is an important tool in this, but balance is really the key: I can’t care for the people in my life and achieve the goals I want by being alone all the time, either!

So I regrouped and thought about how to go about achieving this balance. How do I say to my friends and family to simply let me be sometimes? Well… by saying it! (It was in front of my face the whole time, I know!) At first it felt weird and rude, but once I explained why I needed this time, I felt nothing but support. Simply saying, “Hey I need one night a week to myself,” was completely reasonable, and I felt empowered by setting my own boundaries. I know what is best for me and what allows me to be my best person and, you know what? - no one can take that away from me.

Let's chat!

How do you make sure you have quality alone time? What do you like to do by yourself? Tell us below!

About Madeline

MADELINE_BRADY_writer_bio_(1).jpgMadeline Brady is a soon-to-be recent graduate of Bryn Mawr College where she majored in English and Theater. She is looking forward to joining the real world, learning how to cook more than cereal, and living abroad after graduation. Her passions include
running, music, feminism, and spending way too much time on Instagram.
Every girl is a work in progress. If you need more help, click here.


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