Purse Monster

I can�t explain the purse monster phenomenon, but it really does exist. Unlike the pathetic, inconclusive attempts to capture accurate proof that Bigfoot is real, I witness purse monsters almost daily. The reason this ridiculous concept has been swirling around my head is because recently at dinner one of my dearest guy friends made a comment as I was rifling through my mini suitcase. �You realize that men are, in fact, actually scared of a woman�s purse,� my friend said as he suspiciously and anxiously awaited what kind of Mary Poppins prop I was going to pull from my magic, rabbit hat of a purse. �We just don�t get it, what could you possibly need so badly, that you have to carry around with you a full-on trunk?" It was in that moment that the myth became reality and I had become one of those girls who conveniently schleps around a monster everywhere she goes.

So to further investigate why I can never find my keys, why I lose my parking validation into the pit of despair each time I toss it in the bowels of my purse; I dumped out my purse and the extensive contents poured out like a dramatic scene from Hoarders. I had the typical items: my phone, a small makeup case, lip gloss (in my case 8 different kinds, which is completely unacceptable) and my business card case. In addition to that impressive stockpile, however, I also had three pens, sunglasses, a Groupon my brother gave me for Christmas, my checkbook, two unpaid bills, a parking ticket, headphones, gum, a small pack of Kleenex, day planner, Advil, tweezers, nail clippers, a nail file, Stevia, (yes, I carry my own Stevia to restaurants), a wallet the size of Texas, receipts, two rings, a headband, Flip cam, Victoria's Secret bra (that needs to be returned) and a plastic bag with chocolate chip cookies that I need to drop off for the mechanic as a thank you.


While I could certainly go into silly details of the contents bursting out of my wallet or the unnecessary receipts, coupons and loose dollar bills/change lining the floor of my purse; I will spare you. The point is that it’s an actual phenomenon; not so much the obscene amount of things we tote around with us, but the fact that somewhere along the way we were taught that all of this stuff is necessary to have readily available on any given day. The irony is that I used to dread getting something from my mom’s purse when I was little because it felt like it was a booby trap or a frustrating, mind-bending scavenger hunt. Now, I have become my mom.

One of my New Year’s resolutions was to simply my life. I no longer want to feed the insatiable appetite of my purse monster. While I’m focusing on the insanity of overstuffed purses, it is actually a greater indication (for me) of the overwhelming content of my life, the full plate I eat from daily and the endless amount of balls I’m attempting to juggle. I’m working on being more intentional, thoughtful and organized. My enormous purse is definitely a good place to start.

So, R.I.P. purse monster. It was good while it lasted.Images courtesy of Randomfrankenstein.blogspot.com, Savvysugar.com

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