By: Jen Fine, IATG Contributor April 26, 2016
I’ve been single as an adult for as long as I can remember. Up until a few months ago, I would have told you that being single was a transgression, that it made me lesser. However, I’ve learned that this couldn’t be farther from the truth, and that, while being in a relationship can obviously be a wonderful thing, “perpetually single” is a title I have grown to appreciate and adore.
I have my own dreams– my own plans for the future and items that have yet to be checked off my bucket list. I understand that a successful relationship, one worth having, allows each individual to learn and grow on their own, despite the commitment they’ve made. I’ve learned that understanding is not synonymous with eagerness. When I think about my twenties, more specifically the time I have left of college, I think of the nights where I know anything is possible, the nights where I leave the bar early to make pasta and watch chick flicks with the girls I have grown to call my sisters, and the nights I don’t even dream about going home until bar close.
Instead of checking in with my significant other about my plans, I’m out going and doing and seeing with little to no restrictions or reservations.
Being perpetually single has taught me that my happiness and my own fulfillment is of the utmost importance, and that any day I deem mundane is no day at all.
When I look at the younger girls in my life– my cousins, my family friends, my friends’ sisters- I want them to know so many things. I want them to feel the way I do even though everything in their life tells them not to. The media depicts that happiness is synonymous with relationship, but while monogamy is a good thing, it’s not the only thing we should strive for when we’re still so young and still so uncertain of what the future holds.
I guess for me, the idea of tying myself down without absolute certainty that I cannot live without this person by my side 100% percent of the time just seems like a waste, a waste of the precious years that I will never get back once I trade in my leather jacket and bottle of liquor for a pea coat and bottle of wine.
To be perpetually single is to give yourself enough time to figure out what makes you tick, what makes you smile, what makes your heart race, and what doesn’t. If being perpetually single until I finally find someone that makes me want to stop chasing endless adventure, freedom, and independence is the worst thing that ever happens to me, then I guess I’m one lucky girl after all.
How do you enjoy your single life? Grab your girls and have a singles night out! Try something new like karaoke or or hit up one of your favorite spots in town! Be adventurous with no reservations!
Jen is currently a junior majoring in Human Development and Family Studies at the University of Wisconsin-Madison. She enjoys all things sarcastic, obsessing over the New York Rangers, and is a Dunkin Donuts iced coffee fanatic. When she’s not singing in the shower, writing her feelings, or dishing out life advice to her friends, you can catch her lying around watching One Tree Hill for the third time. Feel free to check out her personal blog at jenfine.wordpress.com for more!
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