By: Natascha Jones, Guest Blogger
An interesting thing happened to me the other night. I was going out with two of my favorite girls for a couple of drinks and some laughs and it was that fun but important part of the night where we were deciding what to wear.
Renee pulled a creative little number out of her hat, pairing a long sheer black dress over some cute cutoffs with black ankle boots and a burgundy hat. I wore my black “cowboy fedora” with a black crew-neck lace crop top, white jeans, and my rose gold Floggs. Yes, I said Floggs. Look them up, thank me later. Jennifer wore some black formal shorts with a scalloped edge and a short-sleeved Henley. Tres cute, all three of us.
So we stepped out in our little Venice neighborhood and almost immediately there was a problem. I was getting attention. A LOT of attention. Like, almost every single guy was coming up to me as if I were tractor beaming super powers. I don’t know what it was, maybe all the self-work and self-worth stuff was showing up? Maybe I’m becoming more connected with my authentic self? I don’t know but I was getting a lot of love that night. And it’s not that my friends are unattractive; in fact, they’re so gorgeous if anything I would expect that I would be playing second fiddle to them.
But that wasn’t the case last weekend. And the thing is, it made my friends really uncomfortable and really unhappy to not have some of that attention directed towards them. I’m not saying they were shallow or vain or insecure, and in fact I have felt the same way when I was in that position. But that’s not the revelation. The revelation is this: I didn’t shrink away. I didn’t apologize for being beautiful and fun and attractive. I wasn’t sorry for feeling great. Not that I would want to feel that way at the expense of my friends but at the same time, I didn’t do anything wrong. It’s not my fault that there was “something” about me that night and even more than that, it wasn’t their fault either. Renee and Jennifer were not less because of me and I would never want my friends to feel insecure because of me.
But I am not going to feel bad because of someone else’s insecurities.
Their insecurities are something I cannot help or change. All I can do is be me and not apologize for that. It felt great to be out having fun, meeting people, laughing, and dancing. While I want to surround myself with friends who are happy and healthy and have a great self-esteem, I am also so excited to have reached a point in my life where I don’t shrink away from my authentic self.
This is me. This is the body I’ve worked really hard for almost every day of the week. This is the smile I take care of every morning and every night. These are the clothes I bought from the job I earned and this is mind and intellect I have cultivated which enable me to have an intelligent or funny conversation. I want to celebrate these things, not hide them because someone else isn’t feeling the same.
As Marianne Williamson says: “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves ‘who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We were all meant to shine, as children do.”
It's more than o.k. to celebrate yourself in healthy and positive ways!
- Acknowledge when you're feeling and looking great. When you recognize the light you bring, you not only feel great, but you inspire others to do the same!
While she would have to inform you that her “day” job is in esthetics and makeup artistry, Natascha truly spends her days in sunny Venice Beach laughing with her friends, riding her bike, and telling grandiose stories encouraging others to laugh, cry or think. She is passionate about her efforts to live life fully and push her comfort zone, which is why she spills her guts to you and she hopes you’ll still love her.
image via lonimarkman.com