By: Brittney Schering, Guest Blogger
Quite possibly the most historically dreaded holiday is here: Valentine’s Day. It may be favored by those who are in lovey-dovey relationships, but those who find themselves single on the day, and worse, consequently lonely, aren’t fans of what is said to be the Hallmark-driven holiday.
What if we challenged ourselves to see Valentine’s Day differently this year? Instead of spending the whole day wallowing in the sadness, or blindly overindulging in celebration of your relationship status, try doing this first: Truly love yourself.
To be completely honest, I wish I had discovered the following quote in the spring of 2007: “Love yourself first, and everything falls into line,” by the beautiful Lucille Ball. If I had read this and taken it seriously, it may have prevented a whole lot of heartache to come. That was then though, and this is now. Having learned to love myself— the good and the bad— and accept my imperfections with unapologetic grace, the decision to focus on loving myself and honoring my needs opened a world of new doors and new opportunities. I was living and leading my own, authentic life.
I do not think it is possible to be in love with another person until you truly love yourself whole-heartedly, and I know at that time in my life, in the state of mind that I was in, and amidst the battles that I was in with myself, this whole “self-love” idea was not present at all. I think that what I considered to be head-over-heels love at that time seven years ago, was really head-over-heels infatuation with the escape that came with what I thought was “love.” Looking back, in a much clearer state of mind, I can see that that is all it really was. It is sad to realize, but it is helpful, too. Such realizations serve as great aids in closure, which I think most people seek at the end of every unsuccessful relationship in one way or another.
So, back to Valentine’s Day, this year let’s focus on something totally bizarre: instead of drowning sorrows in buckets of ice cream or mountains of chocolate in the place of love, do something different: LOVE YOURSELF. I’m serious! Listen to that brilliant advice from Lucille Ball, and do something for you, that will make you feel especially warm and fuzzy inside. It does not matter if it is something extravagant or simple, just do something that you know will make you smile. Try to make a pact with yourself that you will focus on your own happiness with each sunrise and see what wonderful things come your way as soon as you open your heart for yourself.
You’re probably thinking, “Okay Brittney, this sounds great and all, but how am I supposed to get myself out of the funk that comes with being alone on a day that shines a blinding spotlight on the bliss of loving someone who loves you back?”
Fill your own heart with love. Take the time, just this once. Make Valentine’s Day 2014 a happy one, for yourself, even if you are in a relationship. Your own happiness matters just as much as your partner’s, because each is a reflection of the other.
Brittney Schering is a writer and full-time nanny in LA. She contributes to multiple publications and maintains two blogs; one personal, the other on life as a nanny. Schering is passionate about compassion, positivity, creativity, and children's best interests. She holds a Bachelor's degree in professional writing.
Featured image via fogs.com