Not Sorry

By Dana Zillgitt, Regular ContributorOctober 22, 2015


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I’m not a fan of the term “sorry not sorry.” It sounds idiotic and technically, it’s still an apology. You’re still taking blame for something you didn’t feel bad about originally. It’s a consolation prize for the person hearing you, and you’re still taking ownership for an act you didn’t commit.

But I completely understand where the feeling comes from. It seems like we’re ingrained with something that makes us feel the need to minimize ourselves as well as our actions. And, I don’t think any of us really know it’s happening.

Apologizing for everything just feels natural for some reason.

But if we’re taking ownership for somebody else’s actions, we might as well take  ownership over our words as well. Apologizing for everything minimizes the word when it should actually mean something. So save it for something that’s worth the breath it takes.  

Obviously, there are some things you should be apologetic over. You hit somebody with the door on the way out or you committed a crime of some sort. But apologizing for having a strong opinion or the fact that your body doesn’t look a certain way? These and several more reasons are things you should never apologize for.

I understand this is often so much easier said than done, as are many things worth doing, but with practice comes ease.

Plus, it just feels better to notice what you’re actually apologizing for and how words, over time, can lose their meaning if they’re overused. Apologies are meant as steps to healing words. Not as oversights just because we were raised to believe we were less deserving space.

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Do you ever find yourself apologizing for things you shouldn't? How can we break this habit? Tell us below!

About Dana

DANA_ZILLGITT_writer_bio_(1).jpgDana has her BA in International Affairs & Spanish as well as a mild obsession with rescue animals and all things caffeinated. She’s mastered the art of the selfie, fort building, and even the sass battle. Plus, she can quote 95% of Anchorman and Zoolander. 


Every girl is a work in progress. If you need more help, click here.


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