By Luana Mattos, Guest Blogger
Words have power! That’s common sense. But I think sometimes we forget how powerful and destructive our words can be, especially if they go beyond our timelines and news feeds. In a recent interview, Melissa McCarthy told Ellen how she dealt with a critic that criticized not only her appearance in the 2014 movie Tammy, but her marriage as well (Melissa's husband, Ben Falcone directed that movie).
“He'd said basically I'm only a good actress when I look attractive and that my husband shouldn't be allowed to direct me because he let me look hideous in this movie," she told DeGeneres. "And I said, 'Would you do that to a man?' ... I put a lot of time and effort into having her completely not look like she cared about herself. That was part of how I felt she felt on the inside. I said, 'Would you ever say that to a man?' He goes, 'Well, you really looked bad.'"
The words this man used to express his opinion, or promote himself by giving what he thinks people want to hear (or read), were like a bombshell targeting not only Melissa (as an actress and woman) but all girls and women out there. We all have to deal with negative and unwanted commentaries about what we should or should not do, eat, wear, say, etc. I recently received bad feedback on a piece I wrote. It made me angry, and I didn't know what to say at first. I searched for some advice on how to respond, and when I went to reply, the person had already deleted that comment. Did he change his opinion about what he said? I don’t know. All I know is that we will have to, eventually, face some critics, and in order to be as successful, as Melissa was, we will have to be wise in our approach.
"I said, 'Just know every time you write stuff, every young girl in this country reads that and they just get a little bit chipped away,'" she said. "I just think we tear down women in this country for all of these superficial reasons and women are so great and strong. And I really think he heard that. The writer was really loving and you could tell he was a loving father. I think that it's a bad habit that we've gotten into, and it's not that people are malicious. I just think it's so easy to take a swipe. Just go the other way; build it up."
I believe that Melissa changed that man's perspective when she invited him to see the true ramifications of his words. Sometimes the best way to face criticism is to remember that nobody is perfect, neither you nor the person that is criticizing you, but if you face that person with class and politely, like Melissa did, you might change that person’s perspective. And, you both can grow wiser from that experience.
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Luana is Christian girl whose faith inspires her to be the best version of herself every day. Besides her work as an administrative supervisor, she is a freelance journalist and writes a column about real life experiences, focusing on topics relevant to social projects, volunteer work, and awareness campaigns for the Brazilian website www.hollywoodeaqui.com. She also had the opportunity to interview Nicholas Sparks, Wm. Paul Young and L. J. Smith.
image via thehollywoodmag.com