By: Danielle Spitz, Guest Blogger
Making the first move in any situation is extremely scary. Whether it is with a friend, family member, or love interest, being the first person to reach out in a relationship is kind of terrifying. However, despite the fear factor that comes along with it, making the bold first move is the most effective way to get what you want.
Each and every one of us is more than capable of speaking our minds, we just have to find the courage within ourselves to do so. Waiting around for somebody else to do what you really want to do is a frustrating, and often disappointing, process. None of us have super powers (no matter how much we want them), so it is impossible to read someone else’s mind. The only 100% guaranteed way of finding out what you are so anxious to discover is to just ask the person. I know it’s nerve-racking, but the pros outweigh the cons by a landslide.
Let’s start with the cons (I always prefer to hear the bad news first). The only downside to being the first person to reach out in any type of relationship that I can think of is having the other person say something you did not want to hear. Maybe you got shot down when you made the first move on your crush. Or maybe it turns out your friend is mad at you after you were the first to reach out and asked them if something was wrong. It will sting a little at first, but guess what...there is a silver lining to everything! Even if you receive some unexpected and possibly hurtful responses, it is better to know then to be kept wondering. We have all been rejected by a crush at one point, so the sooner you find out they are not interested, the sooner you can move on and find somebody who appreciates you and likes you back. Or the sooner you can just move on and feel confidant without a significant other because being independent is one of life’s best gifts. In regards to the situation with the unhappy friend, now that you know something is wrong you can talk it out and fix the problem, instead of avoiding it and making it worse.
Now for the pros. Coincidentally, despite the initial ache you may experience, the downside to making the first move is probably the best part about it. Being the first to reach out can result in some unwanted answers, but once everything is out in the open, things can only get better. Also, making the first move is one of the best confidence boosters. No matter the outcome, the feeling of having enough faith in yourself and being assertive will make you feel unstoppable. Lastly, being the first person to say something will win you a ton of respect. Everyone knows how scary it is to be the first to speak up, so when they see you do it, I can promise you they will be impressed.
Trust me, I know this is a scary concept, especially for those of us who like to keep our thoughts to ourselves, but only good can come out of it. I encourage you all to step out of your comfort zones and try to make the first move!
There's a lot of power and confidence in making the first move!
- Follow Danielle's lead and believe in yourself to make the first move. Tell us about what happens!
Danielle Spitz is a fashion obsessed 14-year-old student. Her hobbies include reading, writing, running track, and of course, shopping!