By: Shauna Richardson, Guest Blogger
In life, as sad as it is, we will all inevitably learn the harsh reality that not everyone who comes into our lives is meant to stay. This unfortunate truth is one that is often learned in the most hardest of ways and sometimes sticks with us for long portions of our lives. This truth is one that I've learned extensively and with much sorrow in this past year. I've learned that not every one whether it be a spouse or a friend is meant to stay in your life forever as much as you want them to. Sometimes the very people we want to hold onto the most are the ones that leave us all too soon. It's hard, it's brutal, and it leaves your heart bleeding. However, it can be done.
For me, the year of 2014 was a year of loss. I lost someone I loved romantically and I lost almost every single friend; some that had been in my life for over a decade, and some that I had recently met but trusted with everything I had. One by one they left my life and I was left feeling so alone, defeated, and like something was wrong with me. Some left with no explanation while some parted ways with words of hostility. It was heartbreaking and I remember many nights crying myself to sleep.
Although the amount of loss was significant, I soon began to realize that perhaps losing all of those people wasn't necessarily a loss but merely a gateway into gaining something far more. They say that if you aren't losing friends, you aren't growing up. Of course, in life, we have those special circumstances where we meet someone and remain life-long friends. But, for most relationships that we establish, ways are parted and people begin to embark on different journeys. There is nothing wrong with this and it is a way of life but it doesn't take away the hardship of it all.
If this has happened to you or if you have recently lost a friend or spouse in your life, I just want you to know that the pain you feel now will eventually diminish. Don't blame yourself for friendships or relationships not working out. Of course, if you have hurt someone or done something wrong always try to apologize, ask for forgiveness, and hopefully move forward in harmony. However, if their time in your life is simply meant to be over, remember that it doesn't mean something is wrong with you. It took many nights of tears and anguish for me to realize that sometimes people are just meant to come into your life for a brief period of time.
I feel like sometimes we hold onto people and relationships that are harmful to us because we are so afraid of being alone. This goes for friendships and relationships. Don't settle for anything less than what you deserve. It may mean that you have to let go of people you just want to hold, it may mean nights of tears, and it may mean that you will have to go through a huge transformation in your life. However, true friendships and true relationships are what count. It is far better to be alone in your own tears than to settle for a relation/friendship that is not making you feel good about yourself. Sometimes you have to cut ties to everything, and lose everything, in order to gain a new entry way for the next part of your life. Don't be afraid to say goodbye. Don't be afraid to stand up for yourself because friends should never make you feel bad about yourself. Cutting ties doesn't mean it has to be mean. It means you wish them well and walk away. Even though it is always hard to deal with loss, remember that sometimes we must let go of the things and people that hurt us in order for us to grow and move forward.
Let's Chat! What lessons have you learned from loss? Share your story here!
Shauna Richardson is an actress, writer, and model based out of San Francisco and Los Angeles. Her main goals in life: to never stop reflecting, to help others, always take pictures, and to show young girls around the world their immense worth and value. Personal instagram: http://www.instagram.com/missshaunarae (photo credit Jenna Christina Hellberg)