By: Beatriz Craven, Guest Blogger
Mason: So what's the point?
Dad: Of what?
Mason: I don't know, any of this. Everything.
Dad: Everything? What's the point? I mean, I sure as shit don't know. Neither does anybody else, okay? We're all just winging it, you know? The good news is you're feeling stuff. And you've got to hold on to that.
As a child I would become so easily overwhelmed by the world. In quiet moments after days of school and soccer I would curl up in bed and think about these wonderfully miraculous things called existence, life, and God. What am I doing? Why am I here? How am I even having these thoughts right now? Increasingly dizzy and lightheaded with each question, I would shake them off. They were too much to hold and so without any concrete answers, I felt forced to not dwell on them. So I didn't. As I entered my adolescence and navigated my shyness and unshakeable feeling of not fitting in, my faith and spirituality became the one thing that grounded me. It was the one thing that logically didn't make sense and yet made all sense in every way that mattered. It became my source of finding genuine meaning. It was the one thing that helped me feel ok in not being ok. It helped me let go into the unknown and it freed me to feel, love, and experience this life in a more rich and appreciative way.
Now as a young adult with more scars and experiences of pain and loss on my heart, I realize how important it is to make a conscious decision to not just exist, but to live like we mean it. This requires us to challenge our perspectives, reactions, and approach to the world around us. The process is not always an easy one. In fact, when life gets hard, it's probably the most difficult thing we can do. I don't have it all together and I'm realistic enough to know that I never will. But what I do have is a commitment to my quality of life. So when things get hard I don't quit and I don't just jump to a state of perfect enlightenment either. I have to work my process. I get stressed, I notice it, I explore it, I breathe, I meditate, I stress out at my husband, I feel bad, I pray, I breathe, I struggle, I explore, I accept, I find gratitude, I find Love, and then I take control of whatever's left to navigate my life effectively in the direction of my choosing.
That's life. It’s imperfectly packaged, unpredictable, and completely worth it. It doesn't really make sense that we're here and yet we are. We live knowing that our time will end and that life will bring us many experiences across the spectrum of human emotion. We must choose to live anyway. We must choose to find our own meaning. We must choose to appreciate our humanness. We must choose compassion and gratitude; even and most importantly, when we find little reason to do so at all. Life is such a bizarre and glorious gift. Why not make the most of it?
Are you making a conscious effort to experience life--to celebrate the highs and learn from the lows; to BE in every experience? What's stopping you or holding you back? How might Beatriz's post inspire you to do something differently?
Beatriz finds incredible meaning in her work as a therapist in Houston, Texas. She completed her PhD in Counseling Psychology and works with college students at Sam Houston State University. She is an avid life enthusiast, loving wife, and movie fanatic. Check out her website and tumblr at beatrizcraven.com