By: Tyece Wilkins, Guest Blogger
I am the kind of person who feels with my entire body. When I’m excited, it starts in my chest and makes its way through my arms until it’s shooting through my fingertips. When I am upset, it’s worse. It starts in the center of my body and runs through every part of my limbs until my bones feel like Jell-O. That very unfriendly feeling spilled through me a few weeks ago at work.
I don’t know if the details of this story are as important as the sense of embarrassment and damage I felt as the situation unfolded. Or, maybe I’m just not ready to reveal the details of the story to the Internet world. Maybe those details are irrelevant. I’m not sure. Either way, as I sat at my desk that day scrolling through a lot of text messages that I did not want to read that were filled to the brim with a lot of information I did not want to know, my limbs went limp. My heart raced and my eyes began to blur all of the words together.
Life has a way of blindsiding us. I’ve been blindsided by far worse things than the texts from that day. I’ve had far more pointed daggers thrown my way. But, those larger life events don’t necessarily devalue how I felt sitting at my desk. However, the beauty of those much more substantial life experiences is that they put the smaller things in to perspective. They remind me that I have walked on far more fiery coals and I have come out not only alive, but so much better.
I believe in choices. I believe that after we have tended to the emotions of the moment, we can choose to hold on or we can choose to let go. We can choose to let the feelings of betrayal, angst, and anger fester or we can choose to bid them farewell. We can choose to keep a firm grasp on the things and people that hurt us or we can choose to follow the paths that allow us to heal.
I believe in choices. And, I have chosen to let go, to stop awaiting apologies that do not exist. I do not believe that letting go makes me the “bigger person.” I don’t believe it makes me any more noble or righteous than every other human being roaming this planet. I believe in letting go because it helps me to preserve my sense of self. It keeps me sane. It drives me to be much more deliberate about how I focus my energy and whom I choose to focus it on. Growing up is about choices. Letting go is one of them.
Tyece Wilkins is a 24-year-old writer and blogger based in the DC Metro area. She tweets all of her many musings at @tyunscripted and she writes, rants and roars about the growing pains of her twenties on her blog, “Twenties Unscripted.”
Featured image via yoganonymous.com