He's driving you back to your house after a wonderful first date. You both had such invigorating conversation at dinner that you missed your movie on purpose to continue talking. Laughter was at a nonstop rate, making your stomach hurt. You took a long walk after dinner and eventually stopped in a used bookshop. He bought you a copy of To Kill a Mockingbird because he was near tears that you've never read it. You bought him Twilight because you were in near tears (of laughter) at the idea of making him read it. You both made a promise to each other to read them, sealed with a pinky swear, and a first kiss. This is all running through your head as he drives you back home. He pulls up to your house, delivers the second kiss, and you smile as he says, "I'll call you tomorrow." And then an unheard announcer somewhere says, "Let the games begin."
Date nights can score 10 out of 10 on the judges’ cards, yet the games always commence between two people beginning to date. Why? Why must we always hold off on texting, wait a couple days to call or appear disinterested in the first phase of relationships? I can’t begin to describe how annoying this is to me, yet I’m guilty of doing it. I’ve gotten better, though. If I have the urge to say or do something now, I typically will do it, even if my action causes the girl to think I’m overzealous. If I want to say something cute, what’s the big deal? The list of unwritten rules is uncanny and unnecessary. The other day I actually contemplated on sending a picture because I had sent two earlier in the day and for some reason, my logic suggested a third one would ruin things. Is this how bad it’s gotten?
Much of this is due to wanting what you can’t have. If a girl takes an hour to respond to me I’m in love, but if she responds right away, my gut reaction is “ew.” Why?! That makes zero sense. If I don’t write anything to a girl for a week, she’s dying to talk to me, but if I write her a sweet poem her gut reaction is “gross.” I mean maybe it’s not “ew” and “gross” literally, but there’s this twinge of disinterest that comes into play. It’s so silly to me that in the first phase of dating we all make a point to seem like we aren’t thinking about the other person when, in fact, that’s all we’re thinking about.
I think if two people are interested in each other, then engage. Don't hold back on purpose because one of the parties may shut down. The way I look at it now is we should all be ourselves from the get-go and if someone doesn't respond to that, then there is no point in putting forth more energy and effort. If someone is going to be turned off by you being you, that's a huge problem. I mean, it is you that you'd like them to fall for, not some version of you constructed to win people over.
I'm not saying if a guy writes you a book of poetry on a second date you need to marry him, because frankly, that's strange, but allow each other to be sweet, romantic, caring, considerate, and loving. If you're interested, you should be able to show interest. Makes sense, right?
Images courtesy of Blog.sapphiretower.net, Loveletterdaily.com