By: Ashley Drummonds, Regular Contributor
You ever notice babies and toddlers have absolutely no fear and not a care in the world? They don't care if they are walking around in a poopy diaper stinking it up, are covered in food or dirt, are laughing/screaming so loud that an entire department store can hear them, or if they fall asleep while being strolled around the mall. They don’t worry about what they are going to eat for the next meal, about when to sleep, where to live, where to work, how much money to make, how to pay bills, whether or not they'll get a date; they just live in every single present moment and they feel everything in that moment. If there's a good song on they start bouncing and singing. If they are not happy about something they make it very clear to you that THEY ARE NOT HAPPY. How do most of us go from that to FEARING ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING?
I am pretty confident that most people live life more in fear then they do in loving life. Agree or disagree?
Think about how many thoughts you have throughout the day. Then think about how many of those thoughts are about how much you are enjoying your life as opposed to things like “Omg when is pay day? How am I going to pay/afford this? What if I never lose this weight? What if that person doesn't call me back? What if I get fired? What if I never get married? What if I get cancer because I just put food in the microwave or I stepped outside without sunscreen? Omg someone died in a car accident...what if I die in a car accident on the way home? What if my spouse is cheating on me? What if I never aspire to anything more then what I am now? What if I fail at my new business? What if I go into debt or never pay off debt?” Which sounds more familiar to you?
Fear is something we learn; it is not something we are born with. I once read in a book that one of the journeys of life is the unlearning of fear and re-learning living. Does that mean it doesn't exist? Absolutely not, there are plenty of things in life we are TAUGHT to fear. Shoot, I was scared to quit my first job and start a business that I had never done, I was scared to get divorced wondering if I would always be single or ever find someone, I was scared to pursue a career in health and fitness when my education was in business, I was scared to do my first video worried about not being accepted, I was scared to travel alone the first time, I was scared to end a bad relationship, I was scared to end a long friendship wondering if a new one would take its place. I experience fear too! The thing is, though, that thing you are so scared of really isn't everything you have made it up in your mind to be and is usually pretty irrational. Not only that, but YOU ALWAYS MAKE IT THROUGH IT!
The interesting thing about fear is the more you slap it across the face and plow right over it, the less it shows up in your life and the more love, passion, and excitement start to take its place. You begin to trust yourself and try new things because you know you will be ok and you love yourself regardless of the outcome. You just learn to enjoy it while going through it.
One of the main concerns I get with new clients or individuals inquiring about starting a new health and fitness regimen surprisingly has nothing to do with them worried about not losing the weight or not sticking with the program (they know I will kick their butt in gear if they fall of track!) The #1 worry is “I don't want to look stupid. What if I mess up trying this new exercise and look like an idiot? What if I fall off the treadmill?” (Well I've seen it happen and if anything we will both get a good laugh out of it and move on). I get it, trust me. First time I walked into Powerhouse Gym Downtown talk about anxiety! Some of the best competitors and athletes in the country come to powerhouse to train and, trust me, you can tell simply by looking at their physique. The first time I walked in there I seriously debated on getting a membership because I didn't want to look like an idiot who wasn't training at their level. So I had a decision to make: I could not get the membership, not challenge myself, not grow and learn from those who are better then me and know more then I do and stay at my comfy gym and not risk looking like an idiot OR I could embrace the fear, grip it by the horns and enjoy the ride while experiencing new opportunities, new growth and new relationships! Guess what I chose? Yep! I love my new gym now and look back thinking it's funny how scared I was for NO REASON! Usually things that we fear or are most uncomfortable with is life's way of telling us it's time to grow.
What areas are you refusing to grow because you are worried about looking stupid, not knowing what you are doing or failing? Would you benefit and grow as a person by embracing fear and trusting yourself (and loving yourself) through the process regardless of the outcome? Start embracing the fear so you can start embracing and living life! The more you practice it the less it shows up!
Are you letting fear rule your life?
- Part of working through fear is stripping it of its mental power. Assuming you're not dealing with a fearful situation that can literally cause you harm or injury, try asking yourself: "What's THE worst that can happen? Could I die from this?" The answer will likely be no, right? Then there's no reason you can't fortify yourself with some old fashioned courage and get going on making those goals, dreams, and aims happen!
I AM Ashley Drummonds. I am a health and fitness expert and use my own journey in fitness to empower women to embrace both their inner and outer strength through ABS (Authentic Beauty and Strength). I have a passion for connecting, educating, and helping women all over the world to build strong bodies, create healthy lifestyles, and fall in love with their own beautiful body! www.ashleydrummonds.com
image via andreabiwad.com