I have a remarkable friend that is about six years older than me I affectionately refer to as my â��friendtor.â�� She consistently provides amazing advice as well as insight on my life from the perspective of someone slightly older and wiser, and having recently experienced such milestones in her own life. She never judges my stories of a wild night out in Hollywood or a lonely Friday night in with TiVo, and instead responds by saying, "I love living vicariously through you and encourage you to make the most of this particular chapter in life." While I know she finds my stories from this current â��Adventures in Datingâ�� chapter to be highly entertaining, I also know that she is wholly fulfilled and happy holding her sixth-month-old baby boy in one arm while clasping a martini glass in the other at home on a Saturday night. She made the most of her own chapter, and is now so very grateful to be living out her next adventure.
There is one particular conversation that we tend to revisit on a quarterly basis, which the happenings of this past weekend brought to mind. Let me first set the stage by acknowledging that I had a completely self-indulgent weekend filled with pampering and socializing. I started by enjoying a long and late dinner celebrating a girlfriend's birthday at one of the newer Los Angeles restaurant establishments. The following day consisted of hot yoga, a facial, and then a late chardonnay lunch poolside in a cabana followed up by another late night dinner with girlfriends rounding out the full 24 hours. My decisions were my own, and my lifestyle could easily be considered selfish.
When describing my weekend frolics to a friend, I started to feel a pang of guilt. Is this really the life I should be living right now? Not every weekend is so self-serving, but it is a pretty consistent trend that my decision-making is focused around my own pursuits and desires without the complications of a significant other or family to consider. Then I thought of the advice I frequently receive from my â��friendtorâ�� whenever I tell her I'm pining to move fast in a relationship in order to play house once and for all. She loves to playfully remind me that this chapter is truly a â��once in a lifetimeâ�� event and when it does change, it will change for good, so live in the moment and don't try so hard to rush past it.
So to all of my single 20-something females out there; I encourage you to live in your moment without guilt, regret or longing for a future that has not yet played out. This time is yours, and it’s probably the last time life will grant you such freedom and opportunity. Indulge in the occasion to serve yourself, so that one day when you are holding a baby on your hip, you will look back fondly at the nights out on the town or those spa days and know that they were wonderful and perfectly set in that period of your life. The next chapter may be full of new dynamics centered around responsibility and accountability that can then be fully appreciated in its own right.
â��And in the end, itâ��s not the years in your life that count. Itâ��s the life in your years.â��Â - Abraham Lincoln
Images courtesy of Chicagomag.com, Smartcanucks.ca
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