I'm not really one for Bravo TV shows these days. The common threads through most of this particular network's shows involve women bickering, strike that, yelling at high-pitched tones and an overuse of the term "drama.” That said, in my social world, I feel like the exception and not the norm. My girlfriends love the housewives (yes, all of them) and the latest plot lines are often woven into Saturday night dinner conversation.
Just this past weekend, one of my dear friends referenced the current real-life drama of Bethenny Frankel. My friend commented how sad she was to hear of the divorce and really thought that Bethenny would be a model for showing women how they could, "Have it all." Without hesitation, I yelled out (at an inappropriate level considering the cozy environment of the Venice restaurant patio), "But they can't!"
I don't know much about this Bethenny character other than her bio would include some information on her Bravo housewife fame, her successful Skinnygirl brand and the fact that she was recently married with a new baby. I would also add that she is portrayed in the tabloids and other media to have a happy work/life balance. What other kind of statement are we to perceive from a show titled Bethenny Ever After?
My friend and I went back and forth about what it looks like to have it all. She was the one rooting for the true love that came after the fantastic financial success of Bethenny's story, while my retort centered around the concept that a woman with that much on her plate, including a talk show in the works, certainly doesn't have much time for the role of wife and mother. I mean, how many hats can one person really wear?!
Who am I kidding, though? I know nothing beyond the lines that I read in my nail salon's tabloids about this woman who lives clear on the other side of the country. I couldn't give you an accurate read on her level of happiness and the notion that we know this reality star is a far cry from any true definition of reality. But what is the real definition of having it all? Sure, we can certainly try to have it all and we can discuss over a glass of wine the balance of career mogul, wife and mother that Kelly Ripa embodies. But none of the greater context is really that important to me because the term is intimately personal in its definition.
Yes I'll admit, I daydream about having it all. I dream about being my own boss, having enough money to never worry about paying for a fancy haircut or putting organic food on the family dinner table and finding a doting husband who tells me I'm beautiful even when I have the flu. I'm not yet sure if it's achievable, but I'm willing to hold out hope. Perhaps I should note that I'm somewhat rigging the odds by keeping Glamour cover girl, future CEO of Google and wife of Ryan Gosling off the list.
So, when it comes to having it all, how do you define all?
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