By: Lisa Quaraglia, Guest Blogger
It was once said by the infamous Carrie Bradshaw (of the HBO series, Sex and the City), “The most important, exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself.” This quote has resonated with me throughout my twenties. As I turned 26 this year, I felt like I began my ascension into (early!) adulthood; I feel more responsible for the course my life takes, and I am no longer blaming others for my problems or lack of experiences. I am feeling more content with myself, my flaws, and my beauty.
I am learning to be patient with myself, which for a Type A personality is a very hard lesson to comprehend. I am learning that just because I am not good at something right away, that does not mean I will never be good at it. I am learning that life, as well as all its major components, is a process. I am learning that the empathy and kindness I show to others, I must ultimately show to myself.
As I graduated nursing school this past December, I wanted to commemorate the event, but also to show myself the same love I’ve been seeing being posted all over Facebook. Engagements! Everyone, it seems, is getting engaged. Every few weeks, I am blinded by a dazzling piece of jewelry with the captions “I said yes!,” or “He put a ring on it!” While my gut reaction is to cringe (which I do), my second reaction is to be happy that someone found love (which I am). But I am left with a mix of feeling inadequate for not being in a relationship (which I am working on!), and believing in the hope and faith that there is someone out there for everyone (which I do believe). Thinking about what the ring represents is actually a beautiful message: a person is giving an endless circle that goes around and back onto itself to someone who they want to spend each day with – waking up, going to sleep, and experiencing all that life has to offer, and everything in between.
The endlessness of the ring is a symbol for their love as perpetual, and within this ring are boundless promises. These promises will take them through their lives, which will be filled with pain, heartache, joy, laughter, anxiety, and gratitude. These promises are no different than we make to ourselves. As humans, we try to do our best to keep ourselves safe, happy, and healthy. Ultimately, we need to wake up, go to sleep, and experience life with ourselves each and every day. So why do we feel we need to have someone else in our lives to make those promises to?
That is the meaning behind my “diamond” ring. It is my promise to myself, that I will treat myself as well as I would treat a spouse – in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer, until death do I part. This is not a declaration of my independence from ever wanting to find love from someone else. This is my declaration of dependence on myself, my faith, and my life, and a promise I will live in a way that will make love easy to find me. I will extend my warmth to others because I feel that warmth for myself. I will project confidence, respect, and sincerity, which will attract the same energy in another. I will take myself out to fancy dinners, theatre shows, parties, and have fun with those around me, to which I will be open to find someone as I am.
Sure, I may not have needed a ring to make these promises to myself, but every time I look at my ring, especially in situations I am uncomfortable in but that I know I need to be in, I am reminded. Reminded of what my ring means to me; my promise to be true to myself, to live in a way that will open me up to new, exciting experiences and to live happily ever after. After all, all of the promises and the love you have for your boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse/future partner is already inside of you. You are already capable of this type of love. Do yourself a favor and show yourself that same love and attention. Marry yourself!
Lisa Quaraglia is equal parts nurse, writer, cook, and philosopher. She spends a lot of time thinking and talking about life, and love while mixing in sarcastic “Sex and the City” comments into everyday conversation. Her love of writing and curiosity of the world has brought her to IATG. She loves nighttime sky, wine, fancy restaurants and sparkly jewelry.
Featured image via fashionfemale.net