By: Danielle Spitz, IATG ContributorJuly 7, 2016
Watching your best friend go through a rough time is almost as painful as experiencing something firsthand. Best friends assume countless positions, including a readily available shoulder to cry on and a professional listener. Even though sometimes the best support can be as simple as giving undivided attention, it doesn’t make watching a loved one endure heartbreak any easier.
Recently, my best friend went through a breakup, and I made sure I was there for her whenever she needed me, just as I know she would be for me.
It was not my relationship that had ended, nor did I claim to cope with the same kind of distress as she did, but my life was undoubtedly affected by my best friend’s hurt.
She was noticeably less cheery, even though she usually has the brightest personality in the room, and I noticed that she was less engaged in activities that would normally have excited her. I couldn’t help but try to think of ways to make her feel better, even though all she said she wanted was for me to be there for her.
After lots of talking, ice cream, and finally some laughs, I was thrilled to see her confidence gradually start to reappear and her fun-loving personality begin to shine again. What she realized was that she did not necessarily miss spending time with him but rather the way she felt when she was with him, how she felt about herself when she was with him.
She was always sure of herself when she was with him, because he always supported her. Cutting off the stability and comfort that she found in their relationship was difficult at first, but it turns out that it was actually beneficial to her own sense of self-worth. While it can be so special to have someone who believes in you more than you believe in yourself, it can also detract from your own confidence, and that’s what I noticed happening with her.
It was so rewarding to finally see her get back into her groove and rediscover the parts of her that had gotten lost in the relationship. Everyone knows that we are our own worst critics, which makes it pretty difficult to love ourselves; but when we are able to focus on our own happiness and take pride in our best qualities, the love is endless.
In what ways have you shown up for a friend? Share some of these below and then try something new this week! Simple reminders like sweet notes, coffee dates, or “I’m thinking of you” texts can make all the difference!
High school student Danielle Spitz is an aspiring journalist. She writes for her school newspaper and of course IATG! She loves reading, writing, running, binge watching anything on Netflix, shopping, and contributing to a world in which women build each other up and receive the respect they deserve.