How To Love Yourself: Real Girls, Real Talk

Love yourself. It's ribboned around coffee cup sleeves and stenciled on iPhone cases. The encouragement is nice, much appreciated, really, but there's a Grand Canyon-sized gulf between the self-love talk and the self-love walk. We want to change that, stat. (making waves of change, that's kind of our thing, toots). We want you to LIVE your self-love, not just doodle about it in your notebook (but don't get us wrong, we adore doodles!). We brought together some of the most AHmazing voices of the moment to give YOU, dollface, the 411 on their self-love practices, on the actual words they say, the things they do, the ways they consciously treat themselves each and every day in order to broker a kinder, more compassionate relationship with themselves. Check it. Share it. And find your own self-love practice, tell us about it here or on whatever social platform makes your heart ping. We love you, we want to know HOW YOU love you, too!


Hannah Brencher (Founder of Author. TED Speaker.)


I have tried to get better on loving on myself throughout the years. I think the whole idea of loving yourself can seem like too much of an abstract thing but loving “on” myself-- and doing things for myself-- is something I can implement into daily life. I really try my hardest to put a workout at the beginning of the day because I know it will energize me and help me step into my best self for the day ahead. I am currently addicted to Pure Barre and it fills me with so much joy and a sense of accomplishment when I finish a class! Breaking from the day to hike or go for a run is the best way to prove to myself that I honor my body and my wellbeing. 

I also love nothing more (especially when I am crazed) than making a cup of tea and plugging in my Christmas lights and some classical Christmas music (at any point of the year) and just continuing to do my work. Setting the atmosphere is really important to me. 

Jessica Ekstrom (Founder of Headbands of Hope, speaker at CAMPUSPEAK, and blogger at


I love lifting weights. As women, we're told that lifting heavy weights will make is look too “bulky” or too “muscular.” But to me, I choose strength over skinny. When you challenge yourself physically and mentally, you discover you're capable of a lot more than you think. When you realize your limits aren't even limits at all, it's a powerful moment.

Melissa A. Fabello (Educator, Activist, Contributor to Everyday Feminism, Jurassic Park enthusiast)


Because the hardest part of self-love for me is my relationship with my body, I try really hard to make body-positive intentions a part of my self-care plan. Sometimes this means treating myself to a professional massage, but it can also be as simple as using a fancy soap during my shower. One of the best body-love experiences I've had lately was rubbing on jasmine-scented massage oil in front of a mirror in romantic lighting with one of my favorite songs playing. It just allowed me to be grateful for every inch of me, which doesn't always come naturally.

Emily Greener (Co-Founder I AM THAT GIRL. Emily makes love to life as often as she can, she's a champion of truth, and a constant work in progress)


The mirror is a powerful thing. Have you ever stared in to it for so long that you can really see yourself? The YOU behind your face, your body, your hair. The part of you that loves, and hurts, and dreams, and creates. Have you ever put your face so close up to the mirror, you could kiss it? You could actually kiss yourself. I challenge you to look at yourself in the mirror every day for 30 seconds without doing anything else. You can even stand there naked and stare at all the parts of yourself you wish you could change, and say “I love you” instead of whatever other thought you might be having. Or just look directly in to your own eyes and witness the beauty, the magic that is you. Get up close if you can, and maybe even give yourself a kiss hello.

Alexis Jones (Speaker, Author I AM THAT GIRL: The Book, Co-Founder I AM THAT GIRL)


How I love myself best is pretty simple. It’s a daily prayer/ mediation (even if only five minutes a day). I close my eyes. I take a few deep breaths and say the following: I have enough. I do enough. I am enough. I breathe in that truth and mentally list off the things I am grateful for TODAY. If I have more time, I journal love letters to myself reminding me that I’m awesome (especially on the days when I really don’t feel it).



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