How to Deal with the Holiday Blues

By Kendi Banks, Regular ContributorDecember 13, 2015


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I’ve always loved October through December because of the back-to-back Holidays. Yet, in recent years, I’ve found myself dreading this time of year. I’ve just never felt the love and acceptance that I’ve always longed for from my family, and the strain on our relationship has made for some very unpleasant holidays. It’s caused me to slip into what I call “year end depression.” But I’ve now realized that I had to be proactive in finding my own happiness. I can either sulk in self pity or find ways to change things. I chose the latter.  If you’re in a similar situation, then I have a few things you can do to help get through this holiday season.

Show Your Gratitude

You have many things to be thankful for - we all do. Instead of harping on negativity, lend your time to help those less fortunate than you. There are a number of ways that you can get involved, such as serving meals at a homeless shelter or delivering meals for the elderly. If you don’t have time to get your hands dirty in the kitchen, then you can make a monetary donation to sponsor a child in need.

Seeing how grateful people are for a hot meal really puts things in perspective.

Start A New Tradition

If you’re going make the best of your time with loved ones, you may need to spice things up. A change of scenery can have a positive effect on your attitude.  If the source of your troubles are inside of your home, then get out! Plan a trip to the mall to buy Christmas decorations or go ice skating. You won’t be able to argue if you’re laughing at each other slip on the ice.

Embrace Your Surrogate Fam

Mending fences for the sake of family is ideal, but isn’t always possible. If your family is the cause of your unhappiness, consider removing yourself from that environment.

Nothing is more important than your peace of mind.

This is will be the perfect time to see if you can crash your friend’s holiday. Chances are they'll be grateful to have someone to vent to, while their family grills them about their college major and love life. Just make sure that you help out with the grocery shopping and preparation. The goal is to relieve your own stress -  not become a burden on your friend’s family. You don’t want them to just see you as an extra mouth to feed.

Get A Head Start on Your Resolutions

Why wait until January to start working on your issues? You can use this time to reflect on the year and write down what worked and what didn't. Then, construct a plan to actually follow through with your resolutions.

Indulge In The Food

If nothing else, you’ll have yourself a ton of food to eat. Eat it all. This is not the time to worry about waistlines and thigh gaps. It’s okay to drink away your sorrows and have that second helping of macaroni!

Let's chat!

What helps you get over the holiday blues? Tell us below!

About Kendi

KENDI_BANKS_writer_bio.jpgKendi Banks is a freelance writer and Editorial Intern for I'mPerfect Magazine. She’s obsessed with fairy tales and pop culture. She believes that kindness and understanding are the most important things that you can offer anyone. You can find her on Twitter at @KBanksStories and


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  • commented 2015-12-18 13:08:58 -0800
    I love this! My article “Embrace Your Holiday Family” published a few days earlier is about how I struggle with the same issues around this time of the year. As Alexis Jones always says, the words “Me Too” are the most powerful words in the English language. I am so grateful that you were open and honest in writing this article because it lets me know that I am not the only one experiencing the emotions of not having a “Cookie Cutter” holiday season. It’s so nice to have another perspective, too, and especially one that is as positive and self-aware as yours! Thank you SO much for sharing your experience!!
  • followed this page 2015-12-08 08:34:06 -0800

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