How to be Okay

By Marley Mayer, Regular ContributorNovember 15, 2015


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Sad slumps. At some point or another I think every human being has found themselves in a sort of relentless, inexorable type of pain or sadness. It’s a part of being human; our hearts are not made of steel. They are soft, tender, sensitive, breakable.

Sometimes I don’t feel okay; in fact sometimes I feel the exact opposite of okay.

My head becomes cloudy from a lack of inspiration, and my heart feels heavy with loneliness. Occasionally there’s a motive for why I crawl into my little hole, and other times the reason is hidden in something larger, more complicated, that I can never seem to identify.

We hear it all the time, and it’s the biggest cliché in the book: The first step to fixing a problem is to admit that you have one. So why, oh why, has it taken me twenty years to learn how to escape the slumps that often hurl me deep into my sad little hole?

This is what I’ve learned: We were made to feel sad, because as humans we were given the capacity to hold great happiness.

We need the ups and downs to move forward. But I have also learned that we weren’t made to live in sad slumps forever. We were meant to live there for short periods of time in order to mourn and heal, and then, eventually, grow.

It takes baby steps. At first it takes a little wallowing. It takes wrapping yourself up in a blanket like a burrito, maybe some Netflix binge watching, and even a few tears. This is the step that I have always excelled at. I am good at hiding from the world when I’m sad.

It’s the second step, and the more important one, that I continue to struggle with. This is where the importance of human connection plays in. This where we admit to ourselves that a.) We need to get out of this slump and b.) We might need some help from others to do so.

*Gasp* What?! Asking for help? But I’m a strong independent woman who can do anything and everything by herself.

I would like to think that about myself, that they are my emotions and my problems and there is no reason to burden other people with them, but it’s not realistic.

In order to heal and grow, we need to lean on others.

We need to learn from their experiences in order to feel less alone in our own. We were put on this world to feel the highs and lows, but more importantly we were put on this world to share them with each other, to celebrate together the highs, and to cry together in the lows.  

This is how I become okay.

Let's chat!

Do you rely on others when you're upset? Why or why not? How do you make sure you're okay? Tell us below!

About Marley

MARLEY_MAYER_writer_bio.jpgMarley lives in Madison, WI where she is studying to become a nurse at Edgewood College. She is passionate about travel, learning new things, and all things health related. You would most likely find her outside on an adventure, eating Mexican food, or blogging in a coffee shop. Marley is very excited to share her voice with IATG! 


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  • commented 2015-11-17 07:58:06 -0800
    cool thanks i will
  • commented 2015-11-16 13:47:23 -0800
    Hi Sarah! Thanks for your comment. I totally understand and I think it’s great to have all kinds of coping mechanisms to get through the “tough stuff” in life. Sounds like you are a STRONG girl, keep being you!
  • commented 2015-11-16 12:04:25 -0800
    Hi, i feel strong about this, I usually relay on others , but sometimes I don’t strangely , I do it because sometimes i can get myself into a huge state, i listen to music or play computer games to get anger out people think im strange for doing it but, thats just me :) if you have enough time please can you massage back thanks lots Sarah.
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