I actually believe that God has a hilarious sense of humor. He has to. Because men are, in fact, from an entirely different universe and the reality is we do speak different languages. So how on earth are we supposed to go through life together? Just a mean, mean joke, I guess. Haha. You see, I was on a phone call with my boyfriend a few days ago, thinking I was being very clear with how I was "feeling" (already a foreign topic of conversation for men) and in spite of an hour and a half worth of well thought out analogies, fantastic examples all in poetic prose; the poor guy had sat their for a significant amount of time listening but having no idea what my convoluted story line was all about.
I couldn’t help but crack up and in the midst of my laughing, recognize how much our situation was epitomizing the difference between men and women. I had been talking for over an hour about my feelings in every way possible, except saying how I actually felt. The point is that yes, we speak different languages, have completely different manuals and are inversely hard wired; but that’s what keeps it interesting. Personally, I like the challenge. Even though it can cause moments of massive confusion and frustrating miscommunications, it’s also an opportunity to selflessly learn how to better understand someone you care about.
I also think it's important for girls to directly state their needs and desires. We may not be conditioned the same way that men are to say exactly what they want (unapologetically for that matter), but it's important to speak up and make yourself heard. Because what you think and feel matters and you deserve to have someone in your life who believes as well as honors all that. And the only way you're going to get it is if you ask for it.
I think the challenge to all of us is to have a little more compassion with each other. If we were more willing to try and understand others, they would be more inspired to do the same. The other challenge is to have an unparalleled dedication to honest communication. I mean that we shouldn't dance around the point, "kinda, hoping, maybe he gets it," focusing on the type of communication that leaves your voice invalidated and your point still unclear. Just say what you mean, when you feel it because if he can't handle insecurity-riddled you then he doesn't get you. As Marilyn Monroe said, "If you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best."
We all have a ton of work to do (first with ourselves) and if we have the luxury of finding a fantastic partner, then we get to work on ourselves while also learning to coexist with someone else and together, we get to heal, bolster and strengthen each other’s insecurities.
The disservice to yourself is not being honest and hoping your significant other will read your mind. Men and woman are made differently, thank God! So revel in the differences because in there lies the colorful splashes in life that make it worth living.
May we all have a little more compassion and a little more patience with each other. May we take the time to first know what we want, and then have the courage to ask for it. May we learn to speak each other’s language and when miscommunications present themselves (as they certainly will) may we have a sense of humor that gets us through. After all, life is far too short to not be able to find the funny in every situation.Images courtesy of Freakingnews.com, Originaloldradio.com