By: Sana Noor, Guest Blogger
She drew herself a bath and planned to drown in her despair.
You get to choose the way you handle pain and hurt. It doesn’t have the power to make you crumble to the ground unless you allow it to. We all have the power to stand up against adversity, look it in the eye, and scoff in its face.
I want you to look pain and hurt and sorrow in the face and scoff till your heart feels better. You get to ask if it’ll make you feel better. But it hardly ever does because that’s a pity party I refuse to invite you to. Stay away from that guest list; you know the party’s going to be a downer. Instead just shrug your shoulders at the universe and say, “why not?”
Don’t wallow in self-pity; you don’t need that kind of bad mojo. Instead, welcome good vibes with open arms, leave that door open till you’re sure that it’s entered your home and is there to stay. Place your extra pillow and blanket for it on the couch and maybe share a coffee into the night.
I was down in the dumps when I got that rejection letter and it broke me. I never imagined that I would be a part of the group that gets rejected from their dream university, because it was something I was incredibly sure of. I thought it would make me feel better, so I threw my favourite candle and watched the glass holder shatter into a million little pieces. It didn’t make me feel better, but I calmed down slightly as I started to pick up the shards. They had made their way into every single corner imaginable and I continued finding shards days later. But that whole time I was picking up the pieces, in my head I kept chanting, “why me?”
For some time after I was unsure of the direction my life was going in and yes, I put up the decorations to my pity party but I got over it. I did even though at the time I was sure that my life was over. But I had my support system with me, and they pushed me to the next step even when I just wanted to give up and stay holed up in my room safely tucked away under the covers.
I think we all like to be told from time to time that we were born for something great. That our mere existence compiled of small achievements will lead to something beautiful. Something to be proud of. But sometimes we overlook our great achievement and only realize when it’s too late. That the air we breathed simply made us great. Waking up every morning regardless of hardships was great. We fought and we survived. Doesn’t that constitute as greatness as well?
Establish your support system, they will help.
If you think preparing a bath with jasmine scented candles and music playing in the background will help, go for it! Hint: Diana Andrade is that melody you want in the background!
But keep it to a minimum because the sooner you step away from that terminal, the easier deciding your next step will be.
I know they say that what’s not meant to be won’t happen and chasing it is only asking for more pain, and yes I didn’t believe it at first either but I do now. I believe that things happen for a reason. I believe that when one door closes another one opens (as clichéd as it is). I believe that life is something you should never give up on because it will surprise with the most beautiful of moments when you least expect it to. You just need to not give up.
Don’t give up.
It's o.k. to feel sorry yourself over disappointment, heart break, or straight up bad news. It's important to also remember how to let those feelings pass so you can move on.
- Share some of your go-to feel-better rituals or strategies: a rom-com marathon with your bestie? Taking the time for a long run or a favorite exercise class? Maybe it's tucking in with a book and putting the rest of the world on hold. Tell us about it here!
Sana Noor is a Grammar fanatic, simply loves the colour blue, anything with a history and Florence and the Machine. Her heart bleeds poetry and believes in the art of the handwritten letter.
image via keltiecolleen.buzznet.com