Girls, Boys, and Boundaries: Is There a Double Standard?

By: S. Elle Cameron, Guest Blogger

“Open your eyes like I opened mine, it’s only the real world!”-Paramore (“Careful”)

Very recently I came across a video of Hayley Williams from Paramore rejecting a kiss from a male fan while on stage at a show. Not only did she reject him but she also “put him in his place” so to speak. Now, I’m a huge Paramore fan so I have no idea how I didn’t come across this sooner but this particular video (along with another one I’ll mention later) sparked a conversation within me. Was Hayley wrong for rejecting a simple kiss on the cheek and was her reaction completely uncalled for?

After reading a few of the comments left on the YouTube video, it dawned on me that people in this world (both men and women) do not fully understand the rights a female holds. Hayley very politely told the male fan not to kiss her after he snuck one in (and she even squealed a “that’s disgusting!”) but she didn’t just stop there. She told the fan she should kick him off stage for his actions, but instead pulled him to the side explaining to the audience “never kiss a girl unless she wants you to!” What I found surprising was how many guys and girls felt appalled by her reaction.

As a woman, I know what it feels like to have a man hit on you with little regard for your feelings. I, for one, am not a fan of being touched or kissed by someone I don’t know (and it seems Hayley thinks the same way). Some comments stated that since she is a celebrity it shouldn’t be a big deal. Like, what?! So female celebrities shouldn’t have preferences when it comes to their personal space being invaded? Different people are comfortable with different things.

Not only did I read comments such as those but people went as far as even using the infamous “B” word to describe her reaction and even called her the ever so offensive “C” word. Why is it that when a female defends herself in a blunt manner, she’s referenced as a female dog?


Another video I came across was one of Paramore performing their single “Ignorance” and during the performance Hayley stops to yell at someone (not on video) off the stage. The description says it’s a security guard who was yelling obscene and sexist things at her. In the video, a fed up Hayley spits at the guy and kicks at him from the stage. She defended herself as stating he was yelling some pretty offensive and vile things at her.

Maybe her reaction wasn’t exactly of the highest morals but women are allowed to get angry when they feel violated. It’s almost like the fight or flight law. When put in uncomfortable situations we either fight or run away. She chose to fight.

The point of this is to state that women are NOT objects. We live in a world that tells women to not get raped while we forget to tell men not to rape or violate a woman regardless of who she is or what she’s wearing. It’s time for women to be stronger and take hold of their power. This is the real world and there are consequences for all actions. Be THAT GIRL and stand up for yourself!

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About Elle

elle.jpgS. Elle Cameron is the 22-year-old author of the Young Adult novel, A Tragic Heart. Music and personal experiences inspire her to write on a daily basis. To learn more, visit her at or Twitter: @SElleCameron; Facebook:




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