By Kelsey Smith, Regular ContributorNovember 24, 2015
image via breaktheframe.com
In the great USA, we’re taught to be tough and let words roll off our back. How’s that saying go? Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me. What crazy person thought this was true? I remember saying it in elementary school to the rude snots on the playground and thinking it in my insecure, middle school head, but the truth is, words do hurt.
A few years ago I went through a very trying time. I moved to Colorado. I was dating a guy, and for a year and half I was hurt many times by the words said by him and his not so loving family. Words full of dishonesty, intentional hurt, and harshness. Living in a new place, surrounded by people judging and ridiculing you is one of the loneliest feelings. I thank God everyday that he got me out of that place and that environment. When I moved back to my cornfields in Indiana, I just wanted to start fresh. Instead of being vulnerable and grieving over the words said, I shoved those down in my emotional pit, so they could sit and stew within me. My critic, of course, took over and used them against me, playing those words and situations over and over in my head until it’s like I never left the enemy.
I started to find my worth in those words
Over this past year and half though, I’ve started to gain purpose within myself again. I’m back near my dearest friends and my loving family. I have mentors that encourage and a supportive fiancé. I feel so lucky and blessed. However, those words still never completely diminished. I didn’t face them, so they started popping up in the worst ways. It’s like pushing a beach ball under water at a pool; it eventually resurfaces, explodes, and usually hits someone in the face. In this case, they were all hitting me in the face.
So here comes a crossroads: let my demons and evil eat me up and spit me out or get raw, vulnerable, and work through it.
So here I am, continuing to be vulnerable through counseling and relying on my people.
I know that first step into a world of vulnerability is so scary. I’ve been there more than once, but the reality is, if we’re not willing to go there, how will we ever grow to become the best version of ourselves? So I encourage you to reach out to your people. Get vulnerable, cry your eyes out, scream to the heavens, and be real about how you’re feeling. We all have tough seasons, but what we do with them is what makes us.
Have you ever held on to harsh words or criticism? How did you move past these feelings? How do you continue to work towards being vulnerable? Tell us below!
Kelsey is an aspiring interior designer by night, and customer service provider by day. She is happily engaged and loves days spent with her fiancé, and loveable pup outdoors or snuggled up for never-ending Netflix. She has a bachelors in Business and Spanish from a tiny little school in Indiana, but her true love is design. She's working on her second bachelor’s degree in Interior Design now! She feels a calling to inspire people with her words and stories. She also has her own blog on wordpress, check it, https://goldarrowdesigns.wordpress.com/
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