Forgiveness Is A Precious Thing

By Megan Minutillo, Guest Blogger

I think forgiveness is a pretty thing.

A lovely thing.

A grown up thing.

A precious thing.

 

I think forgiveness is a hard thing.

A difficult thing,

A painful thing,

A messy thing.

 

Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about forgiveness. About what that really means. I mean, to forgive, we must let go – right? But when we let it go, do we forget? Do we just wipe the slate clean? How does it work exactly?

What’s the statute of limitations for holding a grudge?

I think forgiveness is a pretty thing.

A lovely thing.

A grown up thing.

A precious thing.

 

I think forgiveness is a hard thing.

A difficult thing,

A painful thing,

A messy thing.

If there’s one thing I know for certain, it’s that people will hurt you. They will break your spirit, your trust, your love, and the sad part is that sometimes, it’s not even intentional. Sometimes, you’re just a bystander. Sometimes, you’re just in the wrong situation at the wrong time. Sometimes, your lover or mother or father or brother or sister or friend doesn’t think before they speak. And then their words become daggers. And those daggers wound. And they pierce. And it’s all because someone didn’t think– they just spoke out of anger, they just didn’t care about who was receiving their words, and they unleashed.

Perhaps it’s those situations that hurt the most – when the pain that someone else inflicted isn’t even intentional – it’s indifferent.

Yikes.

But you know what? That indifference doesn’t change the hurt. And it doesn’t change the pain. I know that, I do. So trust me when I say that I’m not pretending like anyone’s indifference takes away from another’s sadness. Because it doesn’t. 

But, when do you let go?

When do you say, enough is enough?

forgive.jpg

OK, he or she hurt you. I get that, I do. They broke your heart into a million pieces. They shattered your trust into tiny splinters of nothingness, so much so that it’s taken years to piece you back together. You struggle to get out of bed in the morning; you just want to crawl under the covers for a year or two, and come out again when you feel whole.

You want to feel whole.

And you can’t. Not yet.

I get that, I do.

But maybe, just maybe, you can feel whole again when you just let it go. When you say OK, this person hurt me. And I maybe I will have that wound for forever, but it doesn’t have to define me for the rest of my life. Perhaps I can wear that wound as a badge of honor. Perhaps it will be my source of strength, my source of light, and my motivation for going on.

Because oh, isn’t it our wounds that make us beautiful? Those tiny imperfections that are imperceptible to the eye. The ones you’ve let weigh you down, well, perhaps they should lift you up.

There’s a train song that I love, “Bruises.”  The song in its entirety is magical bliss, but these lyrics:

These bruises make for better conversation

Loses the vibe that separates

It's good to let you in again

You're not alone in how you've been

Everybody loses, we all got bruises

We all got bruises

 

How beautiful. And how very, very, very true.

I think forgiveness is a pretty thing.

A lovely thing.

A grown up thing.

A precious thing.

 

I think forgiveness is a hard thing.

A difficult thing.

A painful thing.

A messy thing.

I think if people could bottle up forgiveness and sell it, they would. I think they would shower it on everyone. I know I would just drink it in. Because when you’re hurt, when you’re broken, when you have nothing left to give perhaps the best thing to do for your beautiful self is just to forgive. Acknowledge the hurt. Know that it was wrong. And then let it go. Don’t give that person the power of weighing you down, and let yourself be free.

 

About Megan

Megan_Minutillo-Megan_Minutillo-0117.jpgMegan Minutillo is a playwright, director, and founder of the arts and education site, The Write Teacher(s). Her articles have appeared in HelloGiggles, So Worth Loving, I Am the Modern Career Girl, and Glass Heel. She is currently at work adapting her show, Ghosts in My Vodka, into a musical.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Featured image via masbury.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

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