I woke up not feeling very good. Maybe the early signs of a flu, something I ate, a slight fever or just the overwhelming, stressful week I had manifesting itself in physical form. All I know is that I woke up, went to yoga and when I got back, all my body could manage was to crawl back into bed and pull the covers over my head. I fell asleep for several hours and when I blinked my eyes open again, it was well into the afternoon.
I had a headache and felt nauseous, but more than all my physical symptoms combined, I felt guilty. Guilty that I hadn’t been more productive, that I hadn’t accomplished more in the fetal position and disappointed that I was inconveniently not feeling well with my never-ending work load. The self-criticism has become so normal and rote that I almost forget it’s even an option.
So when I finally checked my e-mail, I had this picture pop up and it was the first smile on my face all day, arguably all week. Itâ��s totally random because I have no clue who the women are or why they are adorned in hideous orange jumpers, but the person who sent it accomplished what they set out to do by sharing a bit of happiness. I think as a motivational speaker, people always assume youâ��re happy, have it together, and are unaffected by insecurity, doubt and fear. Well, allow me to dispel that myth right now. All week Iâ��ve been struggling. Whether it's having recently moved home and my world being turned upside down or coexisting daily with a loved one riddled with cancer, stressing over my latest crushes and pretty much any other thing the average girl goes through; I'm there.
My revelation for today is that it’s OK. It’s alright to not be ecstatically happy, busting with confidence, motivation and resilience. It’s perfectly fine to admit you’re not “fine,” that you’re feelings are hurt or you're disappointed. You're allowed to take a day to rejuvenate a sore heart, to pull the covers over your head and refuse to get out of bed. Part of living is taking moments to just be, without judgment, guilt or self-inflicted emotional punishment.
My mom always said this too will pass, and it will. But it won't necessarily be this very second. So in the meantime, take as much time as you need and grant yourself the same compassion you would if it were your best friend. There’s inspiration all around you, reminders of who you are and why you’re so special. When the time is right, you might even be so lucky as to receive a strange lineup of generously happy women. The point is, I don’t know how or when you’ll be reminded of your worth, beauty, strength and purpose, but storm clouds don’t last forever. So hold on tight, grant your body the time it needs to heal and love yourself extra hard today because whether you agree or not, you deserve it…we all do. I’m sending some love to my sisters out there who need it, and for the ones who don’t, it’s only a matter of time until you do. The beauty of life is the roller coaster we get to go on as well as the highs and lows we experience along the way.
You are loved, what you say and think matters. Whatever you are looking for already exists within you. So trust that you are exactly where you need to be.First image courtesy of 1000mitzvahs.org