By: Alexis Meads, Regular Contributor
Relationships can be complicated. Some last for a few months, maybe years or an entire lifetime.
All relationships serve as vehicles for our own growth.
We’ve all experienced both good and bad in relationships. No matter the outcome of the relationship, it has been put in your life for a reason and is never wasted if you choose to learn and grow.
But if you find yourself continually dating the same types of people, or having the same problems within your current relationship, you may need to take a hard look in the mirror and ask yourself: “is this relationship serving my needs?” “Am I evolving and growing to become a more loving person?”
I am going to tell you this: your relationship is a direct reflection of your own self-love and feelings of self-worth. The relationships we manifest are a direct reflection of the way we treat ourselves.
I have been in previous relationships and spoken to hundreds of people where they are really into a person they are dating but aren’t getting their needs met. When this happens, many people ask themselves how they can change to make the relationship better?
Let me be clear about this, changing yourself won’t make the relationship better. Of course all relationships take work and compromise, but the most important thing is that you are living as your authentic self. Not changing or compromising who you are and what you need in order to make someone else happy.
I know that it can be scary to be alone. But being alone is better than being in a toxic relationship. Plus, being alone means possibility--possibility to enter into a relationship with someone who truly loves you exactly the way you are. When we learn to love ourselves and create higher standards for whom we date, we’ll manifest that perfect relationship.
Ask yourself this question: If my best friend who I love dearly were in this situation, what advice would I give her? Now treat yourself like you would a best friend. Be honest.
You’ve been together with someone for a while and find that qualities you originally thought were admirable about your partner now seem obnoxious.
Qualities that we find to be annoying in others are usually qualities that we don’t like about ourselves.
For example, you get extremely irritated with your partner because what used to seem like “spontaneity” now just feels like flakiness. Ask yourself, are there areas in my life where I can be flaky? Is this a quality I actually wish to improve in myself?
Relationships are here to help us grow. Next time you find yourself getting irritated, look inside and see how it may be an opportunity for you to improve.
No matter what you’re going through in your relationship, celebrate it! There is always possibility and opportunity to learn to love ourselves and others even more.
In the comments below I want to know, have you ever been in a relationship that wasn’t serving your needs? How did you learn and grow?
I can’t wait to hear from you.
Alexis Meads received her M.A. at Harvard University. She is a Certified Wellness Coach and Self-Love Expert. She helps women to fall madly in love, feel sexy and confident every day and create a life full of adventure. For more articles, visit www.AlexisMeads.com or download her Free Video Training here.