By: Kate Krassowski, Regular Contributor
“It’s your life, don’t let anyone make you feel guilty for living it your way. (Including you.)” –Shay Ma Sawyer
This week I went to Target to buy contact solution and ended up spending over $100 on things to decorate my bedroom. That seems to be the norm when going to Target, but what really bothered me, was that I spent the whole ride home justifying my purchases. “Okay so you spent $100, but you didn’t buy that coffee table you wanted so it’s okay, you actually saved money.” Or “you worked those extra hours so you really didn’t spend that much.” My excitement to decorate my room was crushed during the 15-minute ride home because of my need to have a reason for my purchases.
A friend used to tell me that if it wouldn’t matter that I bought something in three years, I should get it because I would enjoy it now. She couldn’t be more right! I got an alert on my Time Hop app that three years ago my status was, “trying to justify a really big Vera Bradley purchase.” Well guess what, I don’t even know what I bought from Vera, but I’m sure I was happy at the time, and it didn’t cause me to go bankrupt.
I feel like this is a common issue among women. We feel the need to have a reason for every thing. It might not even be a purchase. It could be simply not wanting to go out on a Friday night and just spending it relaxing. Or it could be choosing not to go on a date with a certain person. For some reason “because I wanted to (or didn’t want to)” isn’t a good enough answer. Men do a lot of things simply because they want to. Why did you jump off the roof into the pool? Why did you spend a thousand dollars on a suspension to lower your car? “Because I wanted to” is the common answer and the topic is dropped after that. For them, they satisfy their own needs and wants without guilt. However a lot of the time we tend to feel guilty for it.
I say we stop feeling guilty for doing something that makes us happy or for buying something we want. I work hard for my money and can spend it how I choose, and I shouldn’t feel bad for saying that. I don’t have an answer as to why we feel the need to have a reason for what we want to do, but I do know that I’m tired of it. This is a good example of a time in our life where it’s okay to be a little selfish. And it’s okay to say what we want. Be strong and don’t feel guilty. Don’t feel the need to justify your reasoning to yourself or to anyone else. Set yourself free from reason, and the strength you find in that freedom will be priceless.
How do you relate to this topic? Do you find yourself justifying or explaining your choices?
- Try silencing that inner critic when it comes to justifying a choice. If you really know, deep, deep down that it's not a healthy choice, acknowledge it, forgive yourself, and promise to choose better. But it not, stop yourself from explaining your motives and instead replace it with "It's o.k. that I _______." and leave it at that!
She moved to Los Angeles from Cleveland, OH after graduating with a B.A in Film Production from BGSU. She is passionate about speaking out against how women are viewed in the media and being part of changing it.
image via don'tgiveupworld.com