Cake (And Cry) If You Need To

By: Megan Minutillo, Guest Blogger


My thoughts at the moment are about cake. Funfetti. With some sort of decadent chocolate icing.

Because, sometimes, a girl just needs some cake.

Let me rewind.

I’ve met my fair share of celebrities. Of movers and shakers. Of badass souls who just rock this world in the best way possible.

But really, one day, I’d love to meet Pat Brencher.

Who is this woman you ask?

Well, she’s the momma of a kindred soul, a gal pal that I don’t talk to nearly enough, the one and only, Hannah Brencher. (More Love Letters)

Why do I want to meet Pat?

Well, I’ve heard the stories of sunflower murals. Of drums. Of skeletons. Of unending faith. Of limitless love. Of ferocity that is unable to be eloquently expressed in these simple words that I’m typing. I’ve heard of the woman who leads with her heart. Who lives by example. Who loves on love so strongly, so beautifully, so purely. I’ve heard of the woman who doesn’t have Facebook or a cell phone, the one who’d pen a letter rather then send a text.

I’ve heard about so much, and there was one thing that just made me want to know more.


Again, I’m bringing you back to cake.


Hannah has this beautiful thing called the Monday Morning Breakfast Club Email Chain – strings of syllables and her never-ending glorious prose that will just lift you up in the darkest moments of your Monday morning. When the clouds of Monday hover near, Hannah’s emails are that burst of light.

Anyway, I digress. As usual.

One day, Hannah mentioned her Mom. She was talking about her first heartbreak and how her method of dealing was to make a system. A new plan. A new list. A new change. To forge onward…no matter what.

And Pat, after driving three hours to hold her daughter and soothe her pain, well, she told Hannah that perhaps instead of lists and new workflows and systems and all that jazz, well, maybe “you could just be sad... and not make a system. Maybe just eat a little cake and cry if you need to.”


There it is.

The cake.

I read this on my Monday morning.

And I cried.


And yes, I’m one of those women who hates to cry. I want to make the lists. I want to forge onward. I want to erase. If what happens in Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind was a real thing I would have signed up for that ages ago. I would’ve wiped out all the faces of yesterday. The ones who made me cry. The ones who left the scars.  I too, like Hannah, have tried to make systems.

But maybe, just maybe, maybe Pat is onto something.

Maybe it’s ok to cry if we need to. To let it out. To let it go.

Because maybe creating those systems just makes us hold onto negative energy. Maybe the systems, the to do lists, the girls nights when we want to wipe it all away, well maybe it just keeps our baggage around for longer than it needs to be there.

Maybe, we need to say, yes, it’s OK if I need to cry. It doesn’t make me weak. It doesn’t make me powerless.

It’s just human.

I think one of the most adult characteristics that one can possess is when he or she is able to recognize the faults that lie within and grow from them. Learn from them. Accept the past for what it is, and then let it out. Cry it out. Hug it out. Get it out. And then move on.

Cry, if you need to. Eat cake if you need to.

Recognize the hurt. Acknowledge it. And then let it go.

About Megan

Megan_Minutillo-Megan_Minutillo-0117.jpgMegan Minutillo is a playwright, director, and founder of the arts and education site, The Write Teacher(s). Her articles have appeared in HelloGiggles, So Worth Loving, I Am the Modern Career Girl, and Glass Heel. She is currently at work adapting her show, Ghosts in My Vodka, into a musical.






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