Breaking Up (With Friends) Is Hard to Do

By: Natascha Jones, Guest Blogger

Fourteen years ago she could finish my sentences; we used to have our own language, a cache of inside jokes, we shared books, beers, and so many laughs. Now we rarely speak and when we do, there isn’t much to say. 

At first it wasn’t a noticeable distance between Taylor and me, even though we moved to different parts of the country to start our careers we still had our bond. But as the years went by the distance between our friendship grew so much that when I looked back, I couldn’t see her anymore. 

It’s not that there is any love lost on this dear friend of mine, but sort of like a romantic relationship: I love her, I’m just not “in love” with her anymore. 

My best friend and I have just grown apart. 

What do you do when a friendship has finished its course? 

Not being friends with Taylor is not an option, but to continue our friendship as if there isn’t a huge rift would be silly. We recently got together after several years apart, and that’s when I most noticed the space between us. Instead of running the streets until the sun came up, I was the first one home and she was the last. 

Female_Friendship_Good_for_Your_Health.jpg 

I don’t believe you should continue the friendship beating the same old drum you beat back in ’03 but it’s also not in my spiritual alignment and growth to be someone I’m not (Taylor enjoys shots, smoking, and sleeping in, I enjoy hikes, mediating, and making vision boards). This shift has led me to decide communication will be the only thing that will save our friendship. We have to talk about our differences and accept that we no longer see eye-to-eye. 

Even though I’ll probably never pursue a week-long vacation with Taylor like we used to, I can still take the time to honor the friendship and find the remaining things we both feel passionately about. Things like her family, funny movies, matching pajamas, and books. 

There’s that saying, make new friends but keep the old…silver, gold all that stuff. Taylor is my silver. She knows the old me, she knows where I came from and sometimes she can still finish my sentences. And there is something important about keeping the people who “knew you back when.” I would love it if she understood or accepted where I was going and on that same token I could accept her for staying the same. After all, there is comfort in consistency. I think that’s the key to having life-long friends; even if you’re not on the same path, being open to that friend’s course even if it’s not a course you would choose for yourself, is important in keeping relationships alive.

About Natascha

Natascha_Jones_Head_Shot.jpgWhile she would have to inform you that her “day” job is in esthetics and makeup artistry, Natascha truly spends her days in sunny Venice Beach laughing with her friends, riding her bike, and telling grandiose stories encouraging others to laugh, cry or think.  She is passionate about her efforts to live life fully and push her comfort zone, which is why she spills her guts to you and she hopes you’ll still love her.

 

 

Featured image via sardenhealth.blogspot.com

 

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