Bonding Over the Burners: Cooking, Women, and Love

By: Lorene Belotti, Guest Blogger


Christmas is coming soon and when I think about this time of the year, I happily have in mind my family sitting around the big, beautifully decorated table, sharing common or individual memories, giving point of views, and taking great pleasure in eating a delicious meal together.

I also think about the moments I share with my mom preparing everything (even if she does way more things than me). I tenderly witness her taking care to do the best she can to please us. She’s a cordon bleu, so learning from her is the first good point of watching her. It’s a true pleasure to see the love she puts in cooking for all of us.

What I truly love is the time I spend in the kitchen with her, my auntie, and my grandma (no matter the time of the year). The kitchen is OUR space, no men allowed. This can sound sexist (what, no men cook?!), but it’s the opposite. The women-of-the-family moments are blessed.

Besides going about our business like peeling vegetables or baking our awesome desserts, being all together in the kitchen has always been the time when we’ve had the deepest conversations. It’s probably easier to speak profoundly when we’re busy (maybe we feel less vulnerable). Anyway, it’s in the kitchen that I’ve heard women of my family speak from their hearts, confide their deep feelings about a situation (bad or good), and talk about their fears or their joys. These occasions have always allowed me to see the women of my family more clearly, to know more about what had a big impact in their lives, and to feel more connected and closer to them. It’s always been an opportunity to bond and to share meaningful thoughts.


When my grandma or my mom explains how to do this or that type of sauce, they pass something to me. They give me more than recipe tips, (I could obviously find it on the Internet): they give me love and family connection, which I imagine is the true definition of family recipe.

I guess this ritual is not typical of my family and is important for a lot of mother-daughter (or sisters or aunts) relationships. In a super-fast world where nobody has any time for anyone, I think we all cherish even more the quality time we can have with the most important people of our life. It creates a feeling of security, serenity, simplicity, and love we’re all starving for.

I consider spending time cooking with “women of my life” and eating with my entire family a sacred and a privileged moment of life. Time seems to be suspended. I love this feeling of bonding so much. We’re all here at the same time, at the same place, united for the same thing: showing and sharing our love. These moments are the best; I feel safe, strong, and fulfilled with love while my taste buds are thrilled (it’s the cherry on the cake!)
Moreover, symbolically, eating is life! “Feeding” someone is clearly the most primary thing we’d do for love. That’s probably why I really appreciate when someone takes time and puts in the energy to cook something for me, even the simplest thing, and why I love to cook for someone I really care about.

Cooking is definitely an act of love.

About Lorene

belotti.jpgLorene is a French observer and learner of life. She’s been working as a salesperson and a marketing assistant for four years to learn the ropes of the business world. She used to be a sports journalist while doing her Master’s degree and she loves writing and telling stories about great people too much not to go back to her first love soon. She lives in the French Alps, and loves to try to solve the world’s problems while having a great meal with her loved ones. She is passionate about foreign languages, self-development books, American TV shows, and people. Oh, and she’s a total nerd of Academic studies (when she’ll win the lottery, she’ll go to Harvard).




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