Lost and Found: The Determination to Make a Difference
by Laura Platino

I always thought I would change the world. Traveling to Salvador, Brazil to work in an orphanage in 2005 seemed like a great place to start.

I spent the first month feeling like a hero at Vo Flor Orphanage. The kids were ecstatic to see me and their smiles encouraged me. I always went home exhausted and slept soundly feeling satisfied I had made a difference.

For weeks I had been so distracted by the playful kids, I was unaware of the conditions they were living in. I began to see the lack of food, shoes, and beds and to recognize the abundance of filth, illness, injury, and cockroaches. One evening, a friend and I took a taxi to the orphanage to surprise the children before bed.

Toddlers were crammed sideways in single beds, their arms and legs sprawled over one another. When I wiped the sweat-beaded forehead of one of the boys, I noticed a trail of ants marching across his bare mattress. An older boy sat wheezing heavily in a corner and we realized he needed medical attention even though the owners of the orphanage insisted he was fine. Watching his bony chest heave and his eyes roll back, we carried him out unnoticed and took him to the hospital. Waiting in the emergency room (three concrete benches covered by a dilapidated awning), we watched two men casually unload a body from the trunk of a car onto a stretcher.

We took the boy home with us and he slept soundly after being treated for severe asthma. He slept in a clean bed and when he showered the next morning, screamed in surprised delight at the hot water.

When I left Brazil, I felt powerless and completely jaded. Back in the U.S., I sunk into a depression. I stopped watching the news and caring about politics. I gave up on visions of myself in the Peace Corps and on a fight I had barely started.

In late 2008, I moved to Los Angeles to pursue my creative writing career. Searching for freelance writing jobs, I came across a posting for a site touting itself as an empowering women’s webzine out to change the world. Perusing the site, I realized the ladies behind it were no joke. They were actually DOING — drawing attention to world issues and making girls aware of the power within themselves to stir awareness and make a difference.

Desperate to write for iamthatgirl.com, I went to the office party to introduce myself and meet everyone. By the time I left, I felt like a part of myself I had lost years ago hadn’t been lost after all but rather temporarily misplaced.

That night, I remembered tending Caiu’s burn, rocking Alessandro to sleep, combing Rosalee’s hair. I thought about how a single moment of grace a billion times over could really add up. Of all the places in the world, I never imagined that Hollywood would be the city to rekindle my humanitarian spirit.

photo by laura platino

brazil, change the world, dream big, iatg, iatg dream team, orphanage, peace corps, poverty, travel, vo flor orphanage