Let’s Go Shopping for Men
by Heather Heart

In an attempt to avoid being doomed to Spinsterville, I’ve been courageously online dating. It’s like a box of chocolates, it might look delicious but you don’t really know until you take a bite.  In the spirit of being less “picky,” as my friends like to call me, I’ve been more open-minded about dating. And I’ll admit it; I’m feeling a bit of desperation from that darn biological clock ticking. Consequently, I’ve been spitting out quite a few bites of “chocolate.”

I consider myself a young, hip, 32 year old. I live in Los Angeles and have a wonderful group of girlfriends, as well as a beloved sister that I can dish with about everything and anything. I have a career in the fashion industry that keeps me pretty busy. As far as my love life goes, I’m a recovering serial monogamer and apparently I’ve been sentenced to casual dating for the last few years. I’ve grown to know what I want, but have a hard time finding it. Call it picky, but I think of it as being self-aware enough to simply know what floats my boat.

Online dating is an interesting world, one where I have no qualms about being the initial contactor, which is in stark contrast to my “real” world shyness. The computer screen weaves a soft net for rejection. In addition, there’s no question as to whether these men are looking to mingle.  Therefore, the majority of my dates these days are virtual fellas brought to life. Shopping for men online is convenient and fun. It’s pretty rad to be able to chat up potential dates while lounging in sweats and shoveling in ice cream. But buyers beware, marketing ploys abound.  Here are a few smart shopping tips:

Only message guys that have several clear photos: close-up of the face and a full body shot are prerequisites. I realize guys, unlike girls, don’t run around acting like their own paparazzi, but this is not the time to be humble, so please, vain-it-up and take a few photos. It’s only fair.

Talk on the phone prior to meeting. I’ve slammed the breaks a few times based on their voice message alone. For instance, I was able to avoid the Elmo sounding guy with a penchant for “um.”

Play it safe; always meet them at a pre-determined destination.

Lunch dates are the best. At the very least you have good food to keep you company and there is no awkward moment of when to pull the plug. When you’re done eating you can simply say farewell. Plus, lunch is inexpensive so there isn’t any residual guilt of having to spend more time with the guy because he bought you a nice dinner. In addition, you get to see him in natural lighting and avoid wearing wine goggles from “let’s meet for a drink” date.

If you feel hesitation, take heed and move on to the next profile.

Read more about my relationship musings: Good Girl Gone Blog.

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