Diary of a British Bellist – November
by Carrie Barclay

Image courtesy of Vedran Lanc

Well, the festive season seems to happen earlier each year. I always find a shopping outfit the trickiest of beasts. Here in the UK warmth is of great importance, but going in and out of well-heated stores can result in steamy unpleasantness. Thin layers, teamed with easily removable scarves are the way to go, and I opted for a thin thermal vest under a black fitted cashmere jersey, tucked into high-waisted skinny jeans and my faithful caramel flat calf leather boots. Rather than a bulk coat, which can impinge your ability to squeeze by the rotund lady in her 50s who spotted that must-have Hermes scarf moments before you did, a couple of well-placed scarves, mixing silk against the skin with a rough knit wool over the top, allows warmth and maneuverability.

Gifts purchased, work done, I’ve had ample time this month to catch up with friends. It was my dear friend LB that got me thinking over green tea and nostalgic music from our youth one evening as we got to talking about love. LB’s recent romantic disappointments have left her despondent, and we discussed where we thought we’d be as we headed towards 30. This generation, more so than any other, seem to be settling later, opting for career advancement over procreation, world travel over wedded bliss. But are we happy? Is this almost petulant independence creating true fulfillment? Financial freedom is certainly empowering, but from my experience many young women still crave the affectionate dependence that a relationship tenders. Having both, it seems, is the dream of most 20-somethings. But is it possible in a world where dedication and commitment are more regularly associated with job loyalty than love? In a world where world travel is so often a part of a vocation, working long hours, weekends and holidays are part and parcel of “making it,” is there really room for a mutually fulfilling and satisfying relationship?

Later in the month, I had the chilly experience of attending an outdoor Winter Wonderland-themed fashion show (necessitating a gigantic fur hat and floor-length plum coat with thick black patent leather cinch belt). Spending the evening with one of the freelance photographers I regularly cover events with, RH, talk of a recent job offer had the topic of success once again rearing its uncomfortable head. She had been offered the opportunity to work in the Far East for a while, much to her boyfriend’s dismay. Having been together for three years, co-habited for two, their relationship was plodding along quite satisfactorily. But since when has satisfactory ever been adequate? These days, dizzying, dangerously delicious love has become the baseline to which all else is measured. Comfortable partnerships are quickly dismissed as boring or unfulfilling. But this hasn’t always been the case. In a world of profligate and decadent consumerism, women expect fireworks, and anything else has us impatient and complaining. I wonder if this will make us happy in the long run.

Until next time, stay beauty-full, ladies!

career, Carrie Barclay, fulfillment, holiday season, love, shopping, uk