I’ll admit it, I’m a closet superhero freak and it was all too apparent when I bought the early bird tickets to the latest Wolverine movie and stood in line for almost two hours to get the best seats. I’d like to say it’s because I grew up with four older brothers; they’re the reason I’m obsessed with the Spiderman’s and Batman’s of the world…but regardless, in line with all the other X-Men groupies, stood a 5’10, long blond haired, smiling tomboy eager to be let into the theater.

But, honestly, what is it that we love about superheroes anyway? When you think about Michelle Pfeiffer as Cat Woman, old-school Wonder Woman played by Lynda Carter, Halle Berry as Storm, Jennifer Gardner as Elektra, Jessica Alba dressed up as Sue Storm in Fantastic Four and, the ultimate, Angelina Jolie as Lara Croft, you can’t tell me you don’t think they’re rock stars. I’d give my left pinky to be any of them for a day, so what is it about them that makes them so incredible?

Honestly, I think we as humans know our limitations and love to fantasize about a world in which we can fly, read people’s minds, become invisible or beat up a guy who’s ten times our size in a perfectly choreographed fight scene. We want to be bad asses at heart, at least I do. For most people, our biggest fear is being ordinary, mediocre, or Simon Cowell’s biggest insult, “forgettable.”

However, my greatest epiphany recently was that we DO get to be superheroes and we DO get to have super powers, if we so choose. Now maybe they aren’t the cliché super human strength, the ability to move at the speed of light, or invisibility cloaks, but they are equally powerful. This lifetime is never about wishing for something you don’t have, but rather seeing what tools you can find to stick in your belt along the way.

For me, I realized that my life experiences have gifted me with incredible opportunities to pick up priceless tools: the work ethic I gained in grad school, the faith I gained when I lost a dear friend in car accident, the resilience I gained hiking Everest, the determination I gained on Survivor, the compassion I gained in working with underprivileged girls in Cambodia, and the appreciation I gained after witnessing poverty in Brazil. You see, in the real world, the intangibles we gain along our journey are where the real power hides.

I think with every experience we have, there is this opportunity to pick up another gift, another shade of color we can add to our pallet and another tool for our life’s tool belt. Regardless of the situation, whether happy or sad, terrifying of joyfully overflowing there is a kernel of truth that awaits you. In order to best navigate through the jungle of life, it’s in our best interest to gather as many things as possible to help  along the journey.

I may not be able to make things move with my mind, but I confidently know I have the work ethic to build a powerful company; I may never be able to fly, but I know I have the compassion to inspire a young girl to dream big; and Lord knows I’ll never read minds (though with the last guy I had a crush on it would have been uber helpful), but I know I have the resilience to pursue my passion in the face of adversity.

We all have the potential to be superheroes, to leave this world better than we found it, to fight for those who cannot fight for themselves and to be extraordinary, magnificent and truly unforgettable. Now, all we have to do is a get a costume, slap on a mask, and I have no doubt we’d give Cat Woman and the other hero babes a run for their money.

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I’m on a plane. Again. Despite the fact that I flew in from Sydney 3 days ago and it’s 3am “my time” (jet lag status: activated).  I’m writing a blog in hopes that it will suffice in lieu of a strong, much needed triple shot espresso latte.

Either way, I’m flying to Aspen to attend an invite only, weekend-long event called, The Summit. It’s 100 of America’s CEO’s and entrepreneurs under the age of thirty-five. They are graciously putting us up in a five star hotel and have daily events, seminars, panels and, of course, snowboarding/skiing options. Hard life, I know.

However, and this is not to complain about traipsing around the world and getting to attend incredible events with some of our nations most innovative, successful, creative and passionate young men and women, I’m tired. We’ve all been there, right? Burning the candle at both ends of the stick? Pretending that your Wonder Woman garb is only meant for certain, specific times – but certainly not a full time job.

I felt I had just enough time to unpack, wash clothes, get caught up to speed on everything I’d missed the past two weeks at work, stuffed as many meetings into the three days as possible, repacked (the morning of, as usual), and was swept away into yet another steel belly air taxi.

I promise this is not a self–serving, pity party for my exhaustion; it’s more an acknowledgment that we have to honor ourselves. We have to slow down and appreciate our limitations. We can’t be everything to everyone all the time. We have to believe that there will be times when we have to ask for help and trust that people will understand that our imperfections are what make us real.

I know I suffer from an unwillingness to expose the chink in my armor, my weaknesses, mistakes or imperfections but what we have to realize is that when we put up those barriers, we underestimate those around us. We don’t have enough faith that our friends and family, our co-workers and significant others will, in fact, love us anyway. More than anything else, this is me singing to the choir that lives inside my head and it’s a reminder that weakness can be just as beautiful as strength because it allows others to become your hero, to get off the bench and into the game. Give someone the opportunity to carry YOU for a bit. I think you, we, especially me, could use that every now and again.

So deep breath, you will get through this. If you’re where I am at right now and all you really want to do is crawl in a cave with zero responsibilities for a solid 48 hour period to catch up on sleep alone, I completely understand. It seems it’s been my mantra lately: “There’s never enough time in the day.” But remember that time is the ONLY thing that is completely fair in this world. We all have the same amount no matter what. So the same time crunch you feel, everyone else feels too.

Even though sometimes you have to “Cowgirl Up” and do a double shift, you can always sneak a few extra minutes for yourself to recoup, relax, and remind yourself that you are THAT GIRL and you’re fabulous.

photo by lou huang

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I’m a tomboy. I can pretend to be girly. I can paint my nails, do my hair and throw on a sweet summer dress. But, at the end of the day, being raised with four older brothers- when raised with wolves, you’ll inevitably howl at the moon. I know this because I went running at the gym last night on a treadmill sandwiched between beef cake number one and beef cake number two and, halfway through my run, I realized that my individual TV was set on ESPN highlights from March madness and the guys were transfixed by Dancing with the Stars. I’ve never fit into a normal mold, because on the outside I ‘m a sweet, big dimpled southern belle; and on the inside fearless, Wonder Woman awaits her call for justice.

I remember having a friend tell me that my “problem” with guys was that I was too much of a tomboy, too competitive and, rather than talk sport stats, I should talk about sweet, nice things. She went on to say that I’m too intimidating with my opinions and ambition can be threatening. Being that I’m a great student, I took to heart her selfless advice. That night we went out and I was polite, nodded a lot and smiled sweetly. I talked about unimportant things that I wasn’t particularly passionate about as not to get too “opinionated.” I was aloof, deferential and quiet. More than anything else, I was BORING. A poster board cut out would have been more interesting and that’s when it occurred to me that no one, no guy, no job, no friend or boss is worth changing who you are.

Let’s be honest. I love burgers. I have an affinity for college football, camping with the bare essentials and rock-climbing. I’m loud, opinionated, deeply passionate about what I do and typically unapologetic about all three. I rarely wear make up, will take jeans and a t-shirt over almost anything. I think Cinderella weddings have lost the whole point of actually getting married and I look forward to the BCS championship (football) game more than I do Christmas morning.

And here’s the deal: none of that is going to change any time soon. So to pretend I’m anything other than a football loving, Texas tomboy would be inauthentic. The right guy will appreciate the nuances that make me, me. And the same will be true for you as well. Stay true to yourself, be proud of what makes you unique and trust that the right guy won’t be intimidated by your ambition, shudder at you obsession with sports, or wish you were a little more Princess and a little less She-Ra.

As women, too often we’re taught to be people pleasing and we strive to be everything to everyone. My advice: be everything for you. If you spend your whole life trying to be like everyone else, you’ll never get around to being you. And you my dear are a vital piece to life’s gorgeous collage and it simply would not be the same without you.

photo by tiffany

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It reminded me of the drive home from summer camp. I would have stayed up all night, bawling my eyes out with my best friends I only got to see for two weeks each year, wishing I could fast-forward time to yet another fun filled summer camp session. Then there was the much dreaded, four-hour drive home, followed by a post summer camp depression. Now multiply that exponentially and it would still pale in comparison to my post Cambodia trip.

I think part of it is the jet lag of a 30-something hour travel day, an eight hour lay over in Korea and the time difference that almost exactly flips our nights and days. But the reality is that I just spent two full weeks digesting some of the most life altering experiences to date. While my coping mechanisms kicked in to allow me to stay focused in the moment, the vulnerability of being home allows me an excuse to take off my Wonder Woman cape and reflect on the whole trip; the good, the bad, and the painfully ugly.

However, if “love for travel” were a hue, my Maker certainly used an ample amount when painting my portrait. And the most beautiful aspect of traveling is not so much the mountains you traverse per se, but more the diamonds in the rough that you stumble upon along the way. I’ve always felt that the purpose of life is sifting through each experience to find the glistening specs of gold. And I think traveling abroad just provides richer streams and the opportunity to discover bigger nuggets; I refer to these as kernels of truth and I certainly found mine this past trip.

Kernel #1: While hell and horror will always exist (and thank you for this distinction Scott) there is always a “soot covered and stinking” little girl like Sreyno in the midst of it; and helping her is never as difficult as it seems.

During our visit to the landfill, we found another little girl and I witnessed first hand Scott’s ability to see her beauty and the potential she possessed despite the dirt and muck. He put her in the back of the truck on a Friday and come Monday, she was a clean, beautiful girl wearing a new school uniform and sitting in the front row of the classroom. While it’s not always obvious to the naked eye, if we are willing to look deeper, there is always beauty embedded in any ugly situation.

 Kernel #2: People subconsciously can smell deceit and inauthenticity from a mile away. While honesty and transparency invites opportunity and the assistance of others, manipulations and motives repel it.

I watched Scott about to offer a woman full assistance for almost two years including rent, utilities, food, medical aid and school for her children. All he asked was how much money she required each month. Rather than being honest, she lied about needing double the amount. Unaware of what lottery ticket awaited her, he offered a single bag of rice and walked away.

Kernel #3: Go with it. Period. Life is not on your terms and you can’t control people or circumstances. Sit back, relax and enjoy the ride; so simple and yet so incredibly profound.

Our 24 hour trip to Angkor Wat reiterated the notion that when you relinquish control and expectations, you can appreciate the adventure before you and bask in the ambiguity instead of fearing it. I could never have imagined or even planned that day and yet it was perfect.  

It’s daunting to recap such a life changing experience, one I could easily write a novel about. So allow me to simply express my gratitude to Scott Neeson for the life lessons that have and are continuing to change me, his dedication to the children of Cambodia and the caliber of man that he is- necessitating revisions for my own life’s standards. I also want to thank the inspiring Cambodian students at CCF, a testament to true survival, unapologetic about their circumstances and wildly joyful in spite of them. I miss their hugs already.

I always set foot on the plane to my worldly adventures one girl, but the one who returns home is always a new, refurbished version. This trip may have upped the anty because I think I was traded in for an entirely new model altogether. 

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