I fell asleep two nights ago with bobby pins and mascara still in place from our late night show. With the next day off, I woke before nine and stayed in bed til noon reading. That’s my dream day off: Eggs fried, bread baked, noodles boiled, never once leaving the house.

My friend Terri is the total opposite. Charming in a word. She’ll spend her nights off at VIP parties with a finger in every drink. I admire her sheen; it’s the marked difference between the classic intro-extro personality types. One gains strength from gardening with her doors locked, the other doesn’t feel she’s truly awake until she’s describing last night’s dream to friends over breakfast.

Large crowds and late nights are inherent in the theater world. Terri seems gifted with the skills to send her star sky high, while I am better off hiding my light under a bush. But after five years on this career path, I’ve got a pretty good handle on balancing personal charms with a professional attitude. In a business where emotions play their hearts out onstage, this separates the divas from the artists.

If you’re like me, these little tips will help you avoid the inevitable pitfalls from forcing your private personality into social situations.

• Deep breaths, kiddo! “I am SO BUSY right now!” is not a conversation starter. As Cassy laid it out in “Over Committed Superheroes,” I choose my three jobs plus kickball. Don’t whine to the party people about your career, save it for those who love you unconditionally.
• My ears perk up when I hear that perennial opener, “What are you working on right now?”  As long as it isn’t dressed in a frazzled complaint, similar interests make me want to know you better.
• Hold up: I’m not suggesting YOU start every conversation with a predictable question—just keep those ears open for the answers. Then get your network on. Which brings me to the most important trait of a professional personality…
• Really listen. I’m not talking about leaning in when the lead of the show starts going on about his “process.” Pay attention to that rambling middle-aged sound designer, flatter the brash director of photography. Practice listening to the folks other people tune out, and those late nights when you’d rather be at home will earn their keep.
• Stop picking your nose! Not really…but we all have those little social habits we’d like to put to bed. Mine is going through my purse as if I was searching for something important instead of interacting. If you catch yourself withdrawing, give it fifteen more minutes in the game, then hit the showers.

The trick is to become that girl who can enjoy her party dress as much as her PJ’s. I consciously remind myself that for every two nights spent rushing out the door as soon as the curtain drops, I will take the time to hang out with the rest of the crew, forging a bond that is deeper than a stipend check.

photo by florian knorn

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You’ve just put on your PJ’s, wrapped up in a blanket on the couch, and dug into a bag of chips. That’s when you get the phone call. Your girlfriends are getting ready to go out, and want you to come along. Despite your eventful plans for the evening (an American Idol marathon counts as plans, right?), your friends won’t take “no” for an answer. So now you’ve got an hour to prepare — mentally and physically — for a night on the town. But how do you pull out of that couch-potato mood and get ready to party?

To banish your slump and transform into the party girl, try these tips:

•    Cold water can boost circulation and amp up energy. Hop in the shower and spend three minutes under warm water, then switch to cold for one minute. Repeat three times and feel instantly energized.

•    Relax by using a massage trick. Find the acupoint at the top of your head, in between your ears. Then using both hands, move two finger-widths to the left and right, gently applying pressure with the index and middle finger of each hand for one second and release. Continue this routine for one minute.

•    Breathing techniques can increase energy and prepare you to be on-the-go all night long. In Chinese Medicine, energy is referred to as qi (“chi”), and the best way to promote qi is with deep breathing. By breathing deep into your belly, you can increase your qi energy and improve stamina.

•    Feel sexy and confident even before you go out by giving yourself a quick foot soak. Mix 1 cup lemon juice, 3 tbs. olive oil and 1/4 cup milk then soak for five minutes. Your feet will end up soft and ready for stilettos!

•    For fabulous party hair, go for a wavy, careless look. If your hair is naturally wavy, scrunch it while wet, spray with some hairspray, and let it air dry. Put straight hair in hot rollers or curl it with a curling iron and pins the curls down. Spray with hairspray and let it set while you finish getting ready.

•    No one will know you were yawning an hour ago if you have glowing skin and naturally flushed cheeks. Define cheekbones and add a little color to your complexion with liquid shimmer mixed with crème blush. Apply lightly to your cheekbones, and then throw on some bronzer underneath for added definition.

•    If you’re wearing a dress or skirt, bring your legs front and center. After shaving, rub olive or almond oil on them for a seductive look.

•    Choose an outfit that makes you feel confident without showing off too much. You won’t have a good time if you’re constantly worried about one of your ladies popping out.

And remember, it’s essential to eat something before you go out. You also should drink plenty of water during and after your party session because nobody looks glam with dehydrated skin.

photos by juli k, eric hacke

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