I spent the past week in Minnesota for no other reason than my brother graduated from law school and the entire family flew into town to support and celebrate his endeavors. Like any graduation weekend, it was complete chaos. Between the 15 of us, there were five hotel rooms, four rental cars, and two kids under the age of three. You can imagine that choosing a restaurant alone necessitated an event planner.

The weekend was a ball of confusion, miscommunication, who’s riding in whose car, and why isn’t so-and-so answering his phone? For those of you who have big families, you know that it’s absolute mayhem trying to coordinate plans, to arrive anywhere on time, to have everyone happy at the same time and the frustration of our mother wanting to “keep everything running smoothly.”

However, despite the overwhelming stress, the lack of sleep (because nieces and nephews insist on waking you up two hours earlier than you would like), the 10 year sibling fires that get rekindled, and the unprecedented patience required for the molasses like progress we make, no matter what, we’re family and that’s what family does. The definition of family varies for everyone; it can be your closest friends, your teammates, or your coworkers but either way, it’s your “crew” and, for them, you’d do anything.

The beauty of my family is that at the end of the day we’re on the same team and when my brother walked across that stage, all the chaos, annoyance and frustration it took to get us to the graduation in the first place melted away and the Jones clan jumped to our feet, with tears running down our cheeks and cheered for Josh with more pride than if we’d just cured cancer. Suddenly, everything else became irrelevant and we were able to focus on the reason we were there in the first place.

That’s when it occurred to me that we put up with all the other stuff in life because we know that, when push comes to shove, we have a group of people who would do anything for us. The Jones family certainly isn’t perfect, we are a blend of half’s, step’s, and blurred lines that would make our family tree more of a spider web than anything remotely linear, but we have the one ingredient that supersedes everything else. We have unwavering, unconditional love for each other.

Relationships, in general, are not about being perfect or never butting heads; they’re about knowing that, in spite of all the imperfections, the ego, pride, mistakes, and hurt feelings, no one is going anywhere. My family certainly has our flaws, but when it’s time to rally, the Jones crew is willing to weather any storm because we know all hands will be on deck and if we lose someone overboard, you better believe we aren’t leaving that man behind.

Because, at the end of the day, relationships are messy, dramatic and, at times, can make you want to commit a homicide, but my goodness they are worth it when you’re sick and need someone to bring you soup and crackers. The people who can push your buttons like no one else are the same people who can cheer you up during life’s greatest disappointments and believe in you when it seems like everyone in world has turned their backs on you.

Regardless of who I “grow up to be,” of what contributions I leave this world (big or small) and despite what mistakes I’m sure to make, the foundation of who I am and my self worth remains unaffected because it’s made of unbreakable titanium: my family.

While I enjoy the uninterrupted sleep, the simplicity of my own schedule and the peacefulness of my beautiful apartment, I wouldn’t trade a minute of Jones drama – for they are and always will be the best part of who I am. Thank you, family, for an incredible weekend and reminding me of what really matters in life, something easily forgotten here in La La Land.

alexis jones, college, communication, conflict, family, graduation, love, minnesota, schedule Hide

I just flew home to L.A. from Minnesota, a living art museum of the arctic freeze that most likely took the dinosaurs out. For the record, it was six degrees when I arrived. Being a girl from Texas, and having lived most of my adult life in La La Land, which respectfully stays between about 72 and 80 year round, it was a fright-fest to be in Minnesota’s simply inhumane treatment to my nose, ears and gloveless fingers.

Worse is the fact that in order to avoid the Snow King’s evil clenches, I would literally run from one indoor facility to another, unapologetically girly. While I tend to have pride in this arena, that was not the case here. And yet, the crazy thing was how unaffected people were around me as though this were normal (which obviously for them, it is). Either way, it was not the welcoming sun, palm trees and glistening ocean that won my heart in Minnesota; it was my big brother.

It’s amazing what we do for the ones we love, the sacrifices we make and the stretching of our sanity we undergo to prove to a person how much they mean to us. My flying in the dead of winter to a state technically colder than the chocolate popsicles in my fridge could not express more my devotion to my brother – because Lord knows I appreciate my daily sundresses, the myriad of flip flop options that await me each morning, and sleeping with my windows open 365 days out of the year.

However, when I’m with my brother, or my family for that matter, I could be in a closet and enjoy myself. In short, he made up for sending me home with frostbit appendages. We had pizza at his favorite joint, a late night binge-fest of Pringles, cookies, ice cream, and Reese’s as we giggled ourselves to sleep watching our favorite show, The Office. He took me to a “planetarium” (a conservatory of every plant life known to man), had coffee at his local hang out, Coffee Bene, grabbed a a delicious bite at Longfellow Grill, walked around a snow covered park, and watched the Oscars at his (gorgeous) best friend’s house – which, for the record, I think the curse of the baby sister is that you will always and forever have crushes on your older brother’s friends, something I’ve come to accept. We saw the Falls, ate breakfast at a quaint little joint and, before I knew it, I was on a plane heading home to sunny California.

Needless to say, my trip was too short and while I have no desire to go back until the break-my-ankle-ice-patches melt, I am ecstatic for my May visit. In the meantime, my brother is taking advantage of my vacant Los Angeles apartment for two weeks in March – something about 80 degree weather, the cloudless, blue sky and the endless Santa Monica beach only a fifteen minute drive away has solidified his spring break plans.

Until his graduation, I’ll have to resort to emails, facebooking and late night phone calls to hold me over until I see him again. I love you, Jonesy!

big brother, family, little sister, minnesota, snow, spring break, travel, weather Hide