I had dinner last night with a dear friend. Epitomizing the persnickety, overly healthy stereotype of Los Angeles restaurants he appropriately ordered a meatless macro burger, and I peanut enriched kale dish. Fittingly we sat there in LA’s latest dining limelight catching up on the past month or so of each other’s life changing adventures.

As usual with this particular friend, our traditional dinner time lapsed into a time span commensurate with two movies, four back to back episodes of The Office or a drive to and from Santa Barbara. However, it was in hour three of the four that our topic of conversation resonated with me the most. What is it about love, relationships and the “soul mates” debate that evoke such a curiosity?

For me, I’ve loved and lost, and lost and loved some more. I certainly don’t have a methodology, a tried and tested philosophy, or a proven formula that ensures love’s success. Even my dating record, or lack their of, wouldn’t qualify me to advise others, but it wasn’t our theory based answers that peaked my fascination, it was more in the infinite quandaries that kept me up that night.

I have to admit that I’ve laid to rest the fairytale that my prince will arrive on a shining, white stead or that I myself am adorned in a diamond studded tiara. Because honestly, I think it’s these childish, unrealistic, unattainable expectations that leave people disappointed and disenchanted by their less than happy, “happy ending.” However, that doesn’t mean my expectations aren’t extraordinarily high or that my standards aren’t near impossible; it just means that what I’m looking for (and unwilling to settel for less than) will take the same patience and meticulous searching as a needle in a haystack and quite frankly, I’m banking on the fact it will be worth it.

Because here’s the deal, I do believe love and relationships can be magical, but I am well aware of the fact that the kind I speak of are far and very few between. I also think it’s terrifying to entertain that notion because by admitting the possibility that a truly powerful, mind blowing, “one plus one makes 10” relationship exists means you’re left with the reality that realistically you may never find it, or worse, that you end up settling for something subpar. Both of which for some, make the journey to finding the ever elusive, love of your life, not worthy of the hunt in the first place.

That’s when it occurred to me that like any good treasure hunt, there is a legitimate fear your journey might possibly be done in vain, and yet for me, that gamble pales in comparison to the treasure that potentially awaits you. Then again, what in life are we guaranteed? Not success, health, wealth, or even life for that matter; so what makes the journey to find love anymore terrifying than chasing down your dreams or striving for success?

I guess that’s where for me, it’s a matter of faith, believing in something profound that I have yet to see or experience firsthand. So maybe I haven’t met my perfectly flawed prince charming, or maybe I have and like Superman his true identity is being kept secret from my heart’s eyes for the time being. But either way, to muster up the courage, rather, the audacity required is not for the faint of heart. Then again mediocrity is for the simple, willing to settle, comfort-loving individuals who dare not. But for those of you inspired by the mere possibility of having a powerhouse relationship, I promise your life’s treasure hunt to find what you’re looking for, your fortitude in not settling, your faithful resilience, and your passionate quest will not be done in vain. I promise that no eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind can conceive what is in store for those treasure hunters determined to discover life’s greatest fortune, a love worthy of the hunt.

Pictures courtesy of: Mathforum, Oceangrams

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The severe thunderstorm warnings finally subsided. In fact, the sun came out with such intensity that the rain didn’t stand a chance for the rest of the evening. A half-hour before the ceremony, our friends pitched in to drag 200 chairs from under the tent where they had been set up with the assumption the ceremony would be completely washed out.

From that moment on, nothing could have been more perfect. We ate, drank, laughed, danced and even roasted marshmallows. Many of our friends camped out in tents and then we all greeted the sunrise on Sunday morning. I can honestly say that it may have been, to date, the best day/evening/night/dawn/morning of my life. And I’m 99 percent positive Ben agrees.

On the 43-hour drive back to Los Angeles, Ben and I filled each other in on the moments the other had missed and relived the moments we shared. We decided that our vows were exciting, our dance was lovely and that the weather, food, cake, speeches and even the dancing were all amazing. But the very best thing about everything was watching our parents smile, our families relax and all of our friends come together to celebrate with us. It meant so much that so many people cared to show up despite the mud and chance of stormy weather.

Aside from providing the opportunity to have the best and biggest party of our lives, marriage hasn’t changed our relationship much. I don’t think Ben suddenly has a ball-and-chain attached to his ankle. I still have boys for friends and girls’ nights out. And neither of us expect the other to act or live differently. We talk about following our individual dreams and supporting each other in any way we can. We discuss making decisions based upon what is best for our family — which for now consists of him and me, as well as our dog Big.

When I catch a glimpse of the ring on his finger, I must admit I smile and feel this giddy rush of happiness. I feel confident that, like me, he is willing and proud to display this extraordinary symbol of our commitment to each other.

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As most of you know, I grew up in a locker room of living rooms, aka a household with four older brothers. In high school, when I’d come home I’d more often than not walk into a living room of 15 guys playing video games, none of which were even my brothers. We kind of had a revolving door and it only shifted into the Jones College frat house as we got older.

And the beauty of growing up in the Jones’ household was that, more often than not, I gained fly on the wall status so I was privy to the real conversations guys have when they think no girls are listening. While these conversations would shock you, I truly think that they would give you insight to a sex that is so unbelievably unlike us that it’s fascinating to wonder how we’re ever supposed to find love with one another when we’re as different as birds and fish.

Either way, in college I was the “dude translator.” I grew a reputation for being the girl who could decipher the code that is man thought. Then it occurred to me that if there were more direct communication between men and women, we could drop the games, the mind manipulation and the miscommunication. I know way too many girls who have spent WAY too much time trying to figure out what he meant by the awkward hug at the end of the night.

The time we spend thinking about what he is actually thinking about is consuming, futile, and, 99% of the time, WRONG. So, rather than continue having the blind leading the blind, I figured, why not have an event where we bring in guys who will be honest, candid and forthright to give us insight into the brotherhood of masculinity?

Immediately I called up a few high profile boys here in Los Angeles who are also dear friends. I described the current dilemma of men and women not understanding one another. The best part is, while I thought I’d be calling in a favor, they were more than willing; in fact, they LOVED the idea.

So with that, THE MAN PANEL was created. We’re doing our first ever i am that girl event on May 31^st at the Westwood Brewing Company from 7-9pm. We’re bringing in a panel of guys and I’ll be hosting the event.

It’s the perfect girls night out and I guarantee you will not only laugh hysterically, but you’ll gain priceless insight on the male sex. Come join us and get your questions answered by the boys who know them best. It’s 15 bucks online and 18 at the door. We have a link to our Paypal account under “links” on the website and we want to get the word out so shout it from the roof tops, i am that girl presents, THE MAN PANEL… our insider’s guide to men, once and for all.

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Eyvette Jones is a true believer that anything is possible. As the Founder and Executive Director of Urban Possibilities, Yvette is transforming lives in the Los Angeles homeless population, stretching both expectations and boundaries on how to heal and empower individuals who many deem voiceless and defeated. Urban Possibilities works with homeless men, women, and the working poor to elevate their self-image as a catalyst for change. Their creative programs tap into the talents and skills the men and women have used to survive and use those as fuel to see new possibilities and bigger dreams. “Honoring talents and turning on their light is essential, and needs to be incorporated into the conversation on how to get people on the road to a self sustainable lifestyle,” says Eyvette.

A long time network television producer, Eyvette was at the height of her career, yet still had a burning desire to do something more. She began with clothing drives, providing high quality clothing to downtown missions and to storefront churches in South Central Los Angeles. Eyvette would watch people light up and transform when they put on the clothing, and began to contemplate what she could do to keep their lights burning. She eventually teamed up with a homeless mission on Skid Row and began teaching a writing class.

Initially, the 12-15 participants were skeptical, and many could not appreciate or accept supporting language, such as “you are not a mistake” or “there is greatness in you.” However, by the third week, the class was thriving. The program has expanded into a 9-week program called The Published Writers Program. The class uses the pain of living in poverty as a powerful tool to heal, transform and create inspiring work that touches the soul. Each program ends with a published volume of work and a public reading to celebrate the achievements of the new writers.

Similar work is done through the Art Program and Theatre Program. This year, Urban Possibilities’ Theatre Program has partnered with Company of Angels Theatre, the oldest non-profit professional theatre in Los Angeles, to create the most unique acting class on Skid Row. The participants work with trained actors using visualization, acting and performance techniques to build self-image. They craft original monologues based on journaling exercises. The six month process ends with a performance of the monologues. This year’s performances will be held May 29-31 at the Alexandria Hotel in downtown Los Angeles.

Participants who work with Urban Possibilities must be drug-free and must demonstrate that they are working towards or have reached upward movement in their life. “Our program is about dignity, self-esteem and honoring the people we serve.  I believe the great Americans are those that face the toughest conditions and still put one foot forward. Their survival is a heroic act.”

With an estimated 225,000 homeless some time during the year, Los Angeles is the homeless capital of the US, making Urban Possibilities a critically important mission.

For more information, visit Urban Possibilities.

photo by kolby kirk

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Spring has started to finally peek out in Chicago as I find myself standing below the large, yellow awning of “The Boring Store.” “Nothing of interest in here,” and “Not a secret spy supply store,” warn the signs in the window of the mysterious storefront. I push open the heavy door only to find an orange wall covered in surveillance cameras staring me down. I wind through a short corridor and land in a cozy and brightly colored store. Trench coats, fedora hats, magnifying glasses, secret pens and other such sundries for the private detective surround me.

I notice a small window beyond the cash register. On the other side I see large tables and rows of neatly lined, high-backed, wooden chairs. Computers and shelves of books line the walls as 4 or 5 men and women bustle around carrying stacks of papers and working on laptops. Part tutoring center, part secret spy supply store, 826Chicago is not your typical tutoring program.

826Chicago is a branch of a national organization, which has chapters in 7 cities across the U.S.: San Francisco, Los Angeles, Seattle, Chicago, Ann Arbor, New York and Boston. Each center is covertly and creatively disguised as a storefront for the unusual.  The San Francisco chapter lives in the back of pirate supply store; Seattle hosts a Space Travel Supply Company and L.A. provides supplies for all SoCal time travelers. Across the nation, 826 offers kids of all ages after school tutoring, creative writing workshops, in-school support for teachers and much more. Started 6 years ago by Dave Eggars, author of A Heartbreaking Work of A Staggering Genius, 826National is now a leading voice in creative education.

Mara O’Brien, Executive Director, and Kait Steele, Associate Director, at 826Chicago share the many ways they reach out to our community:

Steele: Sarah is an 8th grader [and] has been here for years. She started coming for tutoring and has now stayed through workshops… She will define herself right now as a writer, she says as much…I look at her and think, “You are in 8th grade and you are loud and proud about who you are.” That’s awesome.

O’Brien: For me, what’s so exciting is that what [these students] are excited about is academic. The fact is if you are a good writer then you are a good reader and all these things go together. They are excited about something they will use for the rest of their lives.

iatg: Even if they don’t really know it.

O’Brien: Right! And that’s the best thing.  I have parents who say, “Oh my kids don’t want to go to a tutoring program.”  And I say to them, “Well bring them here.  They won’t think they are at a tutoring program.  They’ll think they are in the spy store, you know, hanging out with cool kids and cool tutors.”

Find out more about your local chapter of 826 National

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The number of patients seeking free or low-cost health care at clinics has spiked following the downturn in the economy, straining limited resources at Los Angeles facilities.

The Community Clinic Association of Los Angeles County, or CCALAC, represents non-profit and free clinics in L.A. With more than 120 locations across the county, all of the 42 member clinics treat patients regardless of their ability to make payment. Health care specialists say resources started waning long before the economy plunged.

“Even prior to the current recession, L.A. has experienced a major shortage of supplies and services to meet the needs of the underserved,” said Louise McCarthy, vice president of governmental affairs at the CCALAC.

McCarthy said the growing pool of unemployed and the increasing number of uninsured patients has compounded the health care problem.

According to the Employment Development Department, the California’s unemployment rate hit 10.1 percent in January, the highest since 1983. But McCarthy said the trouble started long before the economy took a nosedive.

“We’ve seen a shrinkage in supplies and an increase in demand. More people are underinsured,” McCarthy said. “The demand for service is related to the recession, but it’s also related to other factors.”

She said hospital closures such as the shutdown of the Martin Luther King Jr.-Harbor Hospital in 2007, “was a severe blow to an already crumbling system in South Los Angeles. Others echo McCarty’s sentiments.

“There has been an increase [in patients],” said Pat Johnson, operations manager with the University of Muslim Medical Community Clinic. “We always have more of a demand then we have a supply.” Johnson said the clinic, which is a member of the CCALAC, recently hired two physicians and is now open on Mondays to better serve patients.

According to research collected from 2006-2007 by the CCALAC, there was a 9 percent increase in patients at member clinics. There were also 31,600 Medi-Cal patients and an additional 21,600 uninsured patients. Perhaps not surprisingly, woman and children are the primary demographics filling the lobbies of health care clinics.

“Women are usually making the health decision for the family and children are most likely covered by these plans.” McCarthy continued, “Often women are the ones who come in making these decisions for their families.”

In 2008, the association conducted a survey which determined that its member clinics need a 7 percent increase in “capacity” to serve the growing population of patients.

“There is a need to add new points of access to health services, but also an urgent need to shore up the current clinics, so that they can better serve the current and increasing demand,” McCarthy said.

Registered CCALAC members started tracking newly uninsured patients this week to better understand what is required to meet increasing demand. The results of that survey are expected by March 10.

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